tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57089594645695941422024-03-12T21:20:15.970-04:00Marilyn's BylineMarilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-31332545830227145452016-09-23T16:47:00.000-04:002016-09-23T16:47:29.798-04:00The Party is on Oct. 1 -- Join in the Celebration <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_q_wMm5U7Y0/V-WQqdzc7EI/AAAAAAAAAE4/3LY_EhI6Ri0wrewrKdT7dIYLhcS8sRGOACK4B/s1600/14444981_10154499701878965_1112534257765374573_o.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_q_wMm5U7Y0/V-WQqdzc7EI/AAAAAAAAAE4/3LY_EhI6Ri0wrewrKdT7dIYLhcS8sRGOACK4B/s320/14444981_10154499701878965_1112534257765374573_o.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I won! I was selected as the winner of the <i>Tales & Tails Gala Sweepstakes </i>and will be attending the 20th annual event, benefiting <b>Canine Companions for Independence</b>, at the Rosen Shingle Creek Resort in Orlando on Oct. 1. In addition to the fabulous dinner dance party that is planned, attendees will enjoy a live and silent auction. There will be guest speakers sharing stories of how their highly trained dogs have made such a difference in their lives, thus allowing these individuals to live a more independent life while also having a loving, caring companion by their side.<br />
<br />
Tickets are still available for this event. Go to the <b>Canine Companions for Independence</b> site (Orlando FL) to learn more. Hope to see you there.Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-73402806099612038012016-09-11T13:18:00.001-04:002016-09-11T13:18:30.262-04:00Health Issues Following 9/11 Attacks; I Knew This Would HappenOn the morning of September 11, 2001 I was working in Guest Services at the Disney Reservation Center. When guests began telling us that planes were going into the Twin Towers, I knew we were in for a long day. Suddenly, planes were being forced to land before reaching their destinations. This meant we had guests unable to get to Disney or leave Orlando. Our reservation agents were unable to handle the calls and thus, Guest Services took a tremendous hit that day -- with call volumes rising rapidly. When I was finally able to take a quick moment away from the phone, I ran to the breakroom. There, everyone was watching one of two TV sets with the news of planes hitting the Twin Towers, going down into a field in Pennsylania and at the Pentagon. Shock and horror! That was the only way to describe how we all felt.<br />
<br />
While we were focused on what was happening and hoping that there would be survivors, it occurred to me that there would be more issues down the road. I recall telling one of my colleagues that survivors or anyone in the vicinity of the World Trade Center would be in danger. Looking at the rising smoke -- the huge cloud of dust and debris overtaking Lower Manhattan that day, I knew that future health issues would take even more lives. I was already thinking about future cases of asthma, COPD and lung cancer. Other cancers would also be possible. It was obvious to me as I watched people running through the streets of NYC that many of the first responders as well as anyone in that immediately vicinity could be in danger.<br />
<br />
I kept waiting to hear what was going to be done. It seemed that no one was mentioning this "silent killer" during the immediate attack or the days following. And, if anyone was thinking about it, no one had publicly acknowledged the potential for future health issues. Well, it is now 15 years later and news outlets are sharing stories of individuals who have died or who have developed different types of cancer or other health problems most likely related to 9/11. There is the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act. Named for Zadroga, a detective who died after becoming ill from working at ground zero, funding will be available through 2090 thanks to a law signed by President Obama. Cancers, respiratory / heart ailments and gastrointestinal problems have all been associated with the toxins at ground zero.<br />
<br />
I was approximately six months post radiation treatments for my stage one breast cancer. I was finally back at work full time and feeling much better. Until 9/11. The demands of my job began to take its toll. The daily stress levels continued to rise. Guest Services became the "hub" of all things related to 9/11 and we had added responsibilities in order to help our guests with their vacation plans. I found myself extremely stressed out as did many of my co-workers. If I could prove that high stress levels can lead to metatasized cancer that would be my story. By April 2002, my stage one cancer had spread to the lungs.<br />
<br />
I am not one of those individuals who can foresee the future. However, in this rare instance, I not only realized the ramifications of what happened that day on 9/11, I understood that there would be many more victims of these horrid attacks. The death toll and the numbers of people effected at or near ground zero would continue to rise over the years. It's gut-wrenching to think that the terrorists behind these attacks may have already known that they would be able to kill or hurt many more people than just those who died when the planes hit those buildings.<br />
<br />
To those now living with serious health ailments as a result of 9/11, I sincerely hope and pray for your continued good health. I also extend my deepest condolences to the families who have lost loved ones from the health issues brought about by the destruction of the World Trade Center.<br />
<br />
<br />Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-91438665188527292692016-08-09T12:18:00.000-04:002016-08-14T12:49:07.419-04:00Celebrating Another YearIt's not just another day. Today is my birthday. As a child, I couldn't wait to get older. Each passing year was special. At least I thought so. Turning 10 was cool. Right? Double digits. Then, turning 16 meant you could get a driver's license. I was 18 when I started advocating for the right to vote. By the time that became a constitutional amendment, I was 21 and legal. I could vote and drink legally. At age 27, I became a first-time Mom. I was overwhelmed with parenting. My child didn't come with an instruction manual. Somehow, life really began to change a lot more once I became a parent. Time took on a different meaning.<br />
<br />
I still enjoyed birthdays and my 30th celebration was a huge BBQ bash in the backyard of our Bucks County home. I can still remember the crazy cake Edward had the bakery prepare for me. I also remember friends and family stopping by that day to join in the fun and I recall lots of presents. A year later, I welcomed my second child. Now birthday parties were the ones I planned for the kids. These were well thought out events -- with themes and special locations. Each party needed to be unique. I became an event planner and while I continued to celebrate my own birthday each year, it was not the same. Time had taken me into a different direction. The years were adding up and I was growing older.<br />
<br />
When I was 48 years old I heard the words not one wants to hear: "You have cancer." My life instantly became a "roller coaster, merry-go-round" and I was just trying to hang on to anything remotely resembling normal. At my 50th birthday celebration, I already knew that my cancer had spread to the lungs. I had gone through horrific surgery that spring, leaving me emotionally exhuasted and physcially a mess. By August 9 when we gathered at a local Italian restaurant to celebrate, I was happy to see dear family and friends. It was no longer a question of another year of growing older or a different age I had to recall. I was now much more aware of the real meaning of celebration. I knew how special it was to be alive... to be able to enjoy another birthday. I would no longer take birthdays for granted. This day each year would now be extra special to me.<br />
<br />
Ed, Brian, Adrienne and Jason all planned a special celebration for my 60th birthday. I had mentioned my dream of visiting Hawaii. While that was not meant to be, they came up with Plan B. We went to Disney's Polynesian Resort for its Luau. I spent an incredible evening dining on delicious food and watching a Polynesian revue that featured talented performers. It felt like I was in the Islands. My family knew how much I needed to celebrate. It wasn't that I was growing older. I didn't really think much about being 60. I felt great! It was a number. What they understood was that I had to find a way to make the day stand out from other days. For me, August 9 was a real day to jump up and down for joy. It was meant to be special. Time was now being measured in moments -- treasured experiences that would create memories.<br />
<br />
Here it is ... August 9, 2016 and I am 64 years old. If I were still working I would be very close to retirement. I spent a wonderful time last night with Brian. We dined at bosphorous, a top-rated Turkish restaurant in Winter Park. Afterwards, we enjoyed a stroll around the park. The evening was perfect. Today, I'll enjoy some freebies ... such as picking up my subs at Jersey Mike's and Firehouse. I will also savor my brunch at Denny's with Adrienne where I will get my Grand Slam meal. I may also head over to Tropical Smoothie for my free smoothie. (Still trying to find room in my tummy and refrigerator for all the goodies I'll get for free in the next few days and weeks. I love getting all the birthday stuff. Already did my visits to Moes's and Steak and Shake.)<br />
<br />
For me it is all about the celebration. A number is a number. I don't feel any different. (My pain in the neck is still a pain.) However, celebrating another year is awesome! My perception of time may have changed over the years, but my appreciation of life and enjoying another birthday... that's priceless.Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-11174685922483856772016-07-08T16:29:00.000-04:002016-07-08T16:29:18.838-04:00 Current events... Relating to my own challenges and strugglesWhen I heard the news of the Pulse shootings on June 12 my heart literally skipped a beat. How could this horrific act of violence happen so close to home? I live just outside of Orlando, yet most times when I'm asked where I live my response is "Orlando, FL."<br />
<br />
Seeing the faces and learning the ages of the victims really brought this tragedy<span style="background-color: yellow;"> </span>closer to my own reality. My children are 36 and 32. So many of the men and women lost in that massive shooting were so young, just starting their lives. They were out sharing an evening of what was supposed to be creating lifetime memories and making new friends. Instead, 49 individuals died while many others were wounded. Not only would there be physical wounds to be dealt with, the emotional scars were only just beginning. As someone who has faced both physical and psychological pain, I immediately knew that anyone who was at Pulse that night, those who had to respond to the emergency or the professionals who would be providing care for those injured -- the events of that night would create long lasting damages beyond the obvious gunshot wounds or broken bones. I could feel the pain. I understood that there were families who had last a loved one -- husband, father, wife, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, cousin, significant other, dear friend. There were others left fighting for their lives, taken to area hospitals including a place I often refer to as my "second home." Orlando Regional Medical Center, part of Orlando Health, is the major trauma center in the region. That evening, the center became ground zero for many of the victims -- some being transported via personal trucks or vans since rescue vehicles could not reach the scene. ORMC was only a few blocks away from the nightclub. (Per members of the medical staff who spoke to the media, the hospital's proximity helped some of the seriously wounded individuals reach emergency care faster.)<br />
<br />
Since Dec. 2000 I have been a cancer patient. While my care was initially provided by M.D. Anderson Cancer Center Orlando, I am now associated with UF Health Cancer Center, Orlando Health. (To me, it's all semantics. I have the same doctors, nurses, etc.) The buildings where I go for treatment, testing or doctor visits are located just off of Orange Ave. While there was a name change, fortunately for me and other patients, the care has remained consistent, compassionate and professional. The cancer center building is linked to ORMC via several passageways. I often go between the two buildings, visiting the gift shop or cafeteria. Depending upon what my oncologist orders, I may also have some testing done at ORMC's radiology department. I have also been taken to ORMC's ER after several auto accidents.<br />
<br />
Why am I mentioning this after my reference to the Pulse mass shootings? It was ORMC that made headlines around the world when it took in most of the victims that night. (The main campus of Florida Hospital also received patients from this tragedy, offering its ER and surgical services as well. I've been a patient at FL Hospital and must add that the care was excellent.) When I realized many of the Pulse victims were now at ORMC receiving treatment in the ER or heading off to surgery, I also knew that they were in good hands. Highly skilled surgical teams were prepared to make a difference.<br />
<br />
Having grown up in Philadelphia, PA I was used to having multiple major medical centers not only close to one another but also offering ER/trauma care. For some reason, Florida has different regulations allowing for only one Level 1 trauma center in each region. Central Florida has ORMC. That means it serves from the Atlantic to the Gulf Coast. Anyone who is classified as a trauma victim is supposed to be transported to ORMC even if another hospital ER is closer. Since I am not a politician or an expert in emergency/trauma care, I may not be the right person to comment. However, on the evening of June 12 ORMC's Level 1 Trauma Center was truly overwhelmed with patients. The staff did an outstanding job. No one is doubting that it performed to the highest standards. But, is that the right solution for Orlando which aspires to grow into a major cosmopolitan city? Why there only one Level 1 trauma unit for such a large population and after the Pulse shootings, maybe it is time to re-think ER/trauma care throughout Florida?<br />
<br />
I am extremely proud when I tell others that I am a patient at Orlando Health and its affiliates. I call the care I receive at the cancer center... one stop shopping. I have access to anything I need from spiritual to mental health counseling, dietary to pharmacy services, a library with computers, books and information that is safe to read and informative. My doctors and nurses are the best; many are considered experts in their fields and are respected throughout Orlando, Florida and the nation. The men and women who found themselves at ORMC the night of June 12 were placed into capable hands. Their care was top notch in every aspect.<br />
<br />
I have had my own challenges over the years, from dealing with chronic pain to financial matters. Those who witnessed the mass execution of individuals that night will have major challenges and struggles ahead. Is is even possible to relate a cancer patient's journey to that of a trauma victim? On some levels it is. Of course, I can't begin to imagine how terrifying it was for those men and women to see others being shot dead before their eyes and wondering if they would get out alive. Or, being shot multiple times and then dragged over broken glass in order to be saved. I hate pain and when I heard some of the survivors speaking about their ordeals I did feel a relationship to them. I could understand the physical pain they had to endure. I also understood the emotional pain they were experiencing. The tie between this current event and my own cancer journey seemed a bit of a stretch at first but as I began to listen to the survivors, I did feel a common denominator.<br />
<br />
Chronic pain is difficult to live with and for many Pulse victims this may be a part of their future. (I hope it's not.) Depression develops slowly in most cases and once it takes hold it can last months or years. (Counseling is essential as is learning to relax and meditate.) Cancer survivors or anyone who has faced a major health issue can relate to physical and psychological pain. I can.<br />
<br />
The current climate of violence overtaking our nation is alarming. Finding myself able to relate to the Pulse victims and their families is another small step towards a better understanding of what I went through and continue to endure. It's also learning how my challenges and struggles relate to others. It is what makes us human, the ability to understand our compassion for one another and how we are all truly the same.Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-48029198870372011162016-06-28T11:14:00.001-04:002016-06-28T11:14:24.108-04:00Moving forward on my journeyThere are days when I can't recall a time that I was not a breast cancer survivor. I have been living with this reality since December 2000. It has become a big part of me, the person I am today. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This is not necessarily a bad thing, just a different reality. I wake up with a greater appreciation of life. The simple process of jumping out of bed has become not just a daily ritual but a welcomed moment. The fact that I can get out of bed and walk (after two broken femurs as well as the osteoarthritis that keeps worsening) does not go unnoticed in my mind. (Which, by the way, has become much less cloudy in recent months.) The ability to remember little things, to finally have some clarity and mental recall -- I can't take any of that for granted. I lost so much of me during those years in that dark, terrifying place that today when I see the sunshine it is a beacon of hope. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
There was a me before all this happened. I know that I existed before my cancer diagnosis. I see photos of me with family and friends. I see a woman, much younger, having fun on vacations, at holiday gatherings and living life as if nothing could ever go wrong. Then bam! I hit that wall. I never saw it coming. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I knew my Mom was a breast cancer survivor. She was only 48 when diagnosed; she immediately underwent a mastectomy. Other than needing physical therapy she would be fine. In fact, she would be a 30 year survivor. She also dealt with thyroid cancer; she would survive that for 16 years. She had type 2 diabetes. Was I living in la-la land all those years as I watched her dealing with her various health issues? Did I not comprehend the reality before me? I was 48 when I heard the same words my Mom did, "You have breast cancer." Yet, it still never registered how complicated this could all be. In the beginning it seemed simple. Reality took a slight detour. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In my book <i>High Maintenance Surviving Cancer at All Costs</i> I live through this reality, page after page. Covering over 12 plus years, the book chronicles my continuous journey as a breast cancer survivor who has been through radiation, chemo, surgeries and much more. It is an adventure I wish I never had to take and yet it has changed my life in many ways. I became a slightly different me at some point. Perhaps a bit wiser, more understanding, someone with a greater appreciation for small things... an individual who decided to embrace life and move forward. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Today is a new day and I will enjoy the sunshine. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-58012107665828162732014-10-01T19:00:00.002-04:002014-10-01T19:00:32.383-04:00It's Pink October -- An Opportunity to Share My StoryYes! Today is October 1. When I began getting ready for the day, I almost forgot the significance of this month. Well, at least, I thought I did. Unconsciously, I was well aware that today marked the beginning of Pink October. I had already picked out one of my favorite hot pink exercise tops to wear to spin class. I also pulled out a pair of "hot pink" panties. (Okay, so no one would actually see these, but I would know.)<br />
<br />
Pink October is not meant to be a fashion statement. While I may look good in pink, I must admit it was never one of favorite colors -- at least, not until I heard the words: "You have breast cancer." The date -- December 4, 2000. I woke up following surgery; I had undergone a lumpectomy after a biopsy had indicated that one of the two tumors in my right breast was malignant. My life changed that day.<br />
<br />
At first, it seemed rather simple. My Mom was a long-time breast cancer survivor. Her mastectomy was in September 1976, just months after I had gotten married. Back then, cancer was usually spoken in "hush hush" tones. My Aunt Elinor, a registered nurse during her career and my Mom's sister, seemed rather concerned but tried to reassure my Dad and I that things would be okay. Actually, it was my Mom who gave us the reassurances -- she woke up asking: "What's next?" Other than the surgery, she never had any other problems from her breast cancer. She did undergo physical therapy for a year after surgery, needing to regain the use of her arm. But, otherwise, she was fine.<br />
<br />
That is what I recalled as I went home that evening. In fact, when I called my Mom to tell her the news, she responded: "You'll be fine." My cancer was stage one, fully contained. That was my diagnosis. The news was good. My cancer was found early, thanks to my diligence of undergoing annual mammograms. I went through radiation treatments (which were horrific but I survived) and I went on Tamoxifen, because my cancer was estrogen positive.<br />
<br />
Then, my life really changed. Fast forward to 2002. A routine chest X-ray showed tumors in both lungs. The week after that "not so routine test" turned into a real nightmare. Suddenly, this "rather simple" breast cancer" experience was way out of control. I underwent major lung surgery, losing the upper lobe of my left lung. Now, my life had really changed.<br />
<br />
From that day in May 2002 until nearly 2008 my life became a "living hell." Pain was constant. I now lived with chronic pain and it was in stages that hit past 10 on the standard pain scale. I lived on so many medications that I needed an 8 1/2 by 11 sheet of paper just to keep track of every pill I took around the clock. I gained weight from my sedentary life style, reaching 186 pounds at one point. I had asthma, diabetes, osteoarthritis, pulmonary hypertension, high cholesterol, high blood pressure -- on and on. I wasn't seeing pink -- I was seeing darkness. I went into a very deep, scary depression. For years!<br />
<br />
Thank goodness that darkness is gone. I can see pink and it's beautiful. Now, I look forward to Pink October. I look forward to the annual 5K Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. I look forward to attending exercise classes at the Oviedo Y... including spinning, Zumba, Qi Gong and water fitness. I look forward to seeing friends and family. I look forward to waking up each day. I look forward to sharing my story -- a story of survival.<br />
<br />
It's Pink October and I'm a breast cancer survivor. I'm here to celebrate!<br />
<br />
(I recently applied for a U.S. Copyright for my book "<i>High Maintenance.</i>" The book shares my cancer-related experiences over the past 13 plus years.)<br />
<br />
<br />Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-3811988179537992822014-09-20T11:56:00.001-04:002014-09-20T11:56:08.233-04:00One Step Closer to the GoalYesterday, September 19, 2014 I finally took another step towards the publication of <i>"High Maintenance."</i> I applied for a U.S. Copyright.<br />
<br />
Let's simply say that this process was not easy. In fact, it took two college educated individuals several hours to navigate through the pages of the form. We both had difficulties, at times, understanding how to proceed from page to page. We would begin to answer a question and then, would have second doubts as to if it was done correctly. I was working with a gifted graphic designer who knows how to work his way through the computer and online forms. However, he was overwhelmed by the U.S. Copyright's site. I was beginning to understand why other writers have mentioned (on various online sites such as Linked In) that they do not even bother applying for a copyright. But, to me, this process was essential. After spending four years writing this book, it was important that it be protected.<br />
<br />
When I was at Temple University, I spent my last semester taking "Law and Ethics of Mass Communications." The textbook was massive in size. It weighed a ton -- okay, a mere exaggeration but since I only weighted 98 pounds at the time, it was a heavy load in my backpack. The class was early. If I recall correctly, it began at 8 a.m. My brain was barely awake at that hour. In addition, I spent the entire semester totally "lost." I never (despite my greatest attempts) understood anything we read or discussed. Even with the assistance of a legal expert (My Mom had me consult with a judge in the Philadelphia court system who had his law clerk helping me throughout the semester.) I never understood anything -- I felt "stupid" and "completely overwhelmed."<br />
<br />
Before class began, I knew two things. There was libel and slander. One pertained to the written word; the other, to the spoken word. When the semester was over, I knew this ... if I were ever accused of either, I would hire an attorney. Even my instructor gave me "points" for this and, although I managed to pass the class, it was not without many nights of anxiety attacks.<br />
<br />
I also learned that getting a copyright was always the smart thing to do when you wanted to protect a piece of work you created. Most of what I did throughout my career was protected via the publication I wrote for -- my work was within the collected pieces that were protected by the magazine or newspaper. Again, I am not a lawyer so don't ask my any specifics. I just know that a copyright is a good thing to have and my book, <i>"High Maintenance,"</i> could not proceed to the next step in the world of publishing without it.<br />
<br />
Now, that step has been completed. The forms have been filled out, the fees paid and my work has been sent to Washington, D.C. I will now have that U.S. Copyright protecting my words. My work. My book. My college instructors can be proud of me for, at least, learning this much from a class that basically "turned my brain to mush." While I may have hated the Law and Ethics class, I am happy to know that I will soon be taking the next step to get <i>"High Maintenance"</i> out to the public.<br />
<br />
Copyright -- applied for. Next step -- moving closer to the date of publication for<i> "High Maintenance - Surviving Cancer at All Costs." </i>Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-8467706170485630822014-05-10T12:14:00.000-04:002014-05-10T12:14:46.766-04:00SunRail -- Is it Really the Answer to Orlando's Mass Transit Issues? (Note to readers: This entry will deviate from the norm. I am not writing about health issues or promoting a fundraiser. I am using this blog as an opportunity to express my opinion about a major issue in Orlando -- the new SunRail system. It's a new me .. opening up about issues and concerns that may impact upon many of us. It's been a long time since I've done any op-ed type writing. I am both excited and terrified. But here's to an exciting moment in my life and moving forward.)<br />
<br />
<br />
First, I need to explain that when I moved to the Orlando area in 1988, I honestly thought there would be an "explosion" of changes in the region. There were huge developments being built throughout Seminole County, the area I had chosen to live in. While the road closest to my home (Red Bug Lake Road) was undergoing renovations at that time (and still is) I believed (as did others) that a form of mass transit was not far behind. After all, I had grown up in Philadelphia, PA and had used buses, trains and trolleys all my life. I simply assumed (a terrible notion) that buses would follow all the road work. My area could connect with the bigger intersection of 436 with a bus and then, I could get to other places in my county and throughout the region. It hasn't happened; I'm still waiting.<br />
<br />
There is no infrastructure to the system that the region established and while buses (or perhaps better stated -- a bus) does run along 436, I cannot get to it. Thus, the new SunRail is not accessible to me. The nearest station in Altamonte Springs is approximately 13 miles from my home. I do like to walk but quite honestly, that's way beyond my current ability. Plus, it could downright dangerous in certain areas to try and walk. Keep in mind that my son, Brian, did walk hundreds of miles while living here because he used the transportation system -- he rode the buses and was often left stranded for hours without a bus or found himself in the "middle of no where" because the buses were not running or were not available. He has since moved to Washington, D.C. where the mass transit system really works. Anyway, back to Orlando -- the new SunRail looks pretty and runs rather quietly along its route from Debary (Volusia County) to Sand Lake Road (Orlando). But, there are a number of issues that may keep SunRail from being the "best new kid on the block."<br />
<br />
Yes! It's better than nothing. I have heard those words from many who have taken advantage of the "free rides" being offered at this time. For many "train travelers" it has been an experience. I saw wide-eyed children with hands over their ears as SunRail pulled into the station become giddy with excitement. After all, this was there very first train ride and their parents were also thrilled to provide this experience. However, again, some of the excitement was "derailed" by the long delays between trains. Due to mass overcrowding at the stations along the way (they underestimated the number of people who would come out for this free ride) trains were extremely overcrowded and sometimes could not even stop to pick up more passengers. Delays of an hour plus have been common. Now, let's remember that this is the "trial period" and not everyone taking to the trains will actually be a real rider on a regular basis. But, for those who intend to become regular commuters, this has not been the best of circumstances. If they need to count on SunRail to get them to work on time, then these delays need to be fixed -- ASAP.<br />
<br />
Now, onto a much bigger and more frightening concern. Safety. I boarded the SunRail on a Friday evening. The schedule indicated it was due into the station at 6:23 p.m. Edward and I waited for the train -- it arrived around 7 p.m. We boarded and he wanted to go onto the upper level. That was impossible since people were standing everywhere including the stairway. But here's the bigger challenge -- where could I stand safely? SunRail was built for riders who will be seated. There are very few places where commuters can hold on safely. While the train rides very smoothly and that was a good thing (considering my past history with falls) I kept telling Ed that we needed to find a place where I could hold onto something and feel like I would not be compromised. We made our way through the crowds and I finally found the area where passengers with disabilities can sit or where travelers with bikes can lock up their gear -- that was the only location with a poll I could hold onto. I grabbed on and the train took off. During this time all I could I think of was what would happen if there was an accident. My heart raced a bit harder as I looked around for more options. This beautiful, brand new train offered little in the way of making me feel safe. I enjoyed the fact that the ride was smooth (thank goodness) but my premonition did come true just this past week when a SunRail train hit a landscaping trailer just past the Longwood station. And yes, people were standing on the train at the time. Fortunately, reports did not indicate any injuries (although that may change) and the engineer was able to slow down the train prior to impact which, most likely, did make for a safer situation -- with time, this could prove very dangerous. How could they build a commuter train without any thought of passengers who would be standing and should have access to an overhead area where they can hold onto or polls that can easily be reached even by younger riders? Also, don't even get me started about issues involving disabled passengers in wheelchairs or with walkers. We have already seen the photos in the papers of major problems at stations. Again -- our safety is supposed to be a number one priority.<br />
<br />
My anger is directed at the Governor of Florida and the legislators who made the financial decisions for SunRail. Because they chose to cut costs, we now have a system that is "doomed" for potential failure even before it really even starts. We have a train that only runs Monday through Friday. (Last time I checked there are two others days in the week.) It runs from 5:30 a.m. until approximately 10 p.m. (I got off at Church Street Station and the last train out is at 9:25 p.m.) There is already talk of how SunRail intends to pay for cabs or buses if a commuter is unable to get to a train on time, such as if they need to work OT or have another work-related issue that keeps them from getting to the station on time for the ride home. That does not take into consideration anyone who would like to take the train for an evening of theater or other entertainment in downtown Orlando or near Loch Haven Park. The Orlando International Fringe Festival begins soon. This could be a golden opportunity for SunRail, but of course, it will not be available for potential riders because of its hours and the fact that it does not run on weekends. Seriously? How could they have missed out on this tremendous chance to prove just how great SunRail could be? Plus, if you know anything about cabs in Orlando -- let's just say that with the program as it is (which allows for four rides per year per person) this would amount to many more dollars than the actual train ride itself. Bottom line: More mistakes that were made in the planning stages and now we pay the real price for the errors.<br />
<br />
SunRail has potential. I have to believe that because I want Orlando to have a mass transit system. But, until the leaders and those with access to our tax dollars begin making wiser decisions, we are at their mercy. Plus, future expansion is critical. We need to be able to access all of Central Florida. My daughter now lives in Davenport, Polk County. Adrienne asked me if SunRail was near her. Unfortunately, it is not and I'm not sure if they even have plans to implement any system in her area. Also keep in mind that the hours the train does run makes it difficult for me to really utilize it even if I can get to a station. I may be able to get to a location, but getting home in a reasonable time frame may proven challenging.<br />
<br />
I am not getting into the cost of riding the train because for now, that issue is not as relevant to me as is the safety issues I mentioned and the hours the system runs. Without better hours, SunRail will not be accessible to many potential riders. And, without a real mass transportation infrastructure (where we have buses that connect our communities to the train) again -- how is it expected to really work right?<br />
<br />
I have heard others say what I was thinking as well. We should have let the Disney corporation take over the mass transit system of Orlando years ago. Or at the very least, our leaders should have listened to their advice. We could have had an incredible system of monorails and real futuristic transportation running throughout the region. But, instead, we have this quiet, great looking train that, for now, has many flaws. And, some of the flaws are not even with the train itself.<br />
<br />
Yes! I hope SunRail survives. And thrives. And yet, I have many doubts about the future of Orlando's mass transit system because I have lived here for 25 1/2 years and very little has changed. There is still no bus running along Red Bug Lake Road. I have used LYNX (the buses connecting Orlando) once in all those years. My "joy ride" on SunRail may be the one and only -- unless things really truly change.<br />
<br />
<br />Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-40438971304817510552014-03-30T11:28:00.002-04:002014-03-30T11:28:39.263-04:00Fundraiser for Oviedo YIf you are looking for a way to support the Oviedo Y's Annual Community Support Campaign plan to dine this <b>Thursday, April 3 at Gator's Dockside</b> from open to close - in eat or take out. A portion of the proceeds from this event will support the Oviedo Y's scholarship program. <b>Please remember to tell your server that you are at Gator's to support the Oviedo Y.</b> See attached flyer for more details. Thanks for caring and supporting this important cause.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t863d0BEToU/Uzg4Ht87HrI/AAAAAAAAAEI/Ek8IxNhxcyQ/s1600/_Gators-spirit_night-web-900px.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t863d0BEToU/Uzg4Ht87HrI/AAAAAAAAAEI/Ek8IxNhxcyQ/s1600/_Gators-spirit_night-web-900px.jpg" height="109" width="320" /></a></div>
Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-56994180248063926882014-03-11T19:02:00.001-04:002014-03-11T19:02:08.360-04:00Amoena Selects My Essay as Its WinnerYes! It does feel great to see my byline gracing the pages of a magazine after a long hiatus. <b>Amoena </b>has published my essay <i>"Embrace Every Curve"</i> in its spring 2014 edition. It is available online this month. (See below for the link.)<br />
<br />
My story shares the "curves" I have endured over the past 13 plus years as a breast cancer survivor. While it is the "short version" of my book (a very abbreviated version at that) I am still excited that thousands of people will be reading my work. Back in the day when I worked as the editor of several different newspapers I was always writing stories. My topics range from travel and articles about interesting individuals to medical breakthroughs. My byline has appeared more times than I can count. The name - <b>Marilyn Wattman-Feldman</b> - looked good on the pages of the magazines and newspapers where it appeared. But more importantly, I always put myself into every piece. That's not to say I necessarily gave my personal opinions (unless it was called for) but rather, I did my research and I worked to make every story the best I could. If my name was to appear on a published piece, then it was my intregity at state. It had to be better than good.<br />
<br />
I had great influences along the way. There were men and women who helped shape my writing -- they helped make me a better writer simply by doing what I needed to do. I also feel a great deal of pride when I realize I attended a top notch university where I earned my degree in journalism. Temple was only a name to me when I was there. But now that I live in Florida and Temple University is unique, I understand its value. I had the best education possible. And now, I put it to work everyday when I write.<br />
<br />
It does feel wonderful to see that byline ... it's been missing for way too long. <a href="http://issuu.com/amoena/docs/amolife_spring2014_us_screenpdf/10">http://issuu.com/amoena/docs/amolife_spring2014_us_screenpdf/10</a>Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-33574735704362957962014-03-01T12:11:00.001-05:002014-03-01T12:11:38.126-05:00Celebrate St. Patty's Day & Raise Funds for ACS RFL <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kp2LjycAPPo/UxISsCinI-I/AAAAAAAAADs/7x4V36-SjBQ/s1600/_St_Pattys_Day_at_Cassys_Grill-tall-2014-800px.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kp2LjycAPPo/UxISsCinI-I/AAAAAAAAADs/7x4V36-SjBQ/s1600/_St_Pattys_Day_at_Cassys_Grill-tall-2014-800px.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></div>
<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Come on out to Casey's Grill and celebrate St. Patrick's Day on Monday, March 17.</b> While dining on some great corned beef and cabbage (and plenty of other delicious entrees) <b>you will be helping to raise funds for the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life. </b><br />
<br />
As a cancer survivor, I have come to know (first-hand) the incredible work that the ACS does. Money raised helps support the society's mission to provide patient services, education, advocacy and research. I have personally benefited from all of these -- and as a volunteer, I have shared "my voice" with legislative leaders in order to raise money for vital research. A single voice does make a difference.<br />
<br />
Looking for a way to enjoy St. Patty's Day -- look no further than Casey's Grill. And, while enjoying a "yummy" meal and a fun-filled atmosphere, you will be making a big difference. A portion of the proceeds from this event will benefit the ACS RFL.Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-70742894713796764252014-02-15T12:16:00.002-05:002014-02-15T12:17:36.276-05:00I did it ... Now I Need to Accept the Kind Words Being Shared "You look great!" "You look amazing!" "Wow, Marilyn! I can't believe how terrific you look!"<br />
<br />
Over the past few weeks, I have heard these words or similar ones repeated over and over again. To say I've been "surprised" or even "shocked" to hear these comments -- let's just say I am happy yet still trying to comprehend the meaning behind those words.<br />
<br />
Why? Well, I know I certainly look much different than I did several years ago. In fact, I look much different from how I was between 2002 and 2009. In early 2002, my cancer had spread to the lungs and I underwent major surgery. That certainly affected how I felt and how I looked. There was the overall fatigue and inability to do much physically, so yes... I began to gain weight. I also began chemo in the summer of 2002. While I never completely lost my hair, it thinned out to the point where everyday I gathered up hair from my sleepwear, my pillow and from around the shower drain. Then, as the years progress, I was still sedentary and the weight piled on. When I broke my right femur in 2005, I weight so much that my rehab took longer than anticipated. (At least, that's how I remember it.) The femur break in 2008 was still horrible, but because I had already started loosing weight, my rehab process went much faster. (That is the truth.) Fast forward to today .. I weight what I did after having Adrienne. And yes, I feel great and apparently ... I am looking much better these days.<br />
<br />
I guess that's what I can't quite process. In my head, I am still heavier -- I am still having trouble moving about. My body is far from perfect and I'm in pain more than I care to admit. I take so much medication on a daily basis and although most of the drugs I take are necessary ... they keep me moving about -- with pain levels that allow me to participate in classes like spinning, water fitness and Zumba. So, the drugs give me a life worth living because if I were in the horrific pain I could be in, I would not be able to function. Getting out of bed everyday would be impossible. I could not even be typing this blog -- my fingers would cease to work from the osteoarthritis that has mishapped my knuckles. Without my pain specialist and the medications prescribed, I may very likely be in bed most of the time... or perhaps back in a wheelchair unable to move around on my own. As I even think about that option, I must admit it is terrifying. I hated being so vulnerable back in 2005 and 2008 following my femur breaks. Unable to do anything for myself -- being totally dependant upon the aides and techs for everything -- all the personal stuff we humans do on a daily basis. It was a horrible, gut wrenching experience back then and it's one I do not want to repeat.<br />
<br />
I remember a moment several years ago when I got out of the car and started to stretch. I bent over to touch my toes. I heard a loud "shriek" like sound coming from both Brian and Adrienne. "What was I doing?" They could not believe what they were seeing. I immediately did it again -- reaching down to my feet -- feeling the stretch down my back. When I got back up, I looked at both of them. "Seriously," I said. "When I tell you that I'm doing water fitness classes. Or I'm at Tai Chi or Zumba. I'm not playing tiddly winks." I wanted them to understand that I knew how important it was to keep exercising. To keep moving. I was talking about my life. If I were to truly follow my mantra -- "Everyday in every way I am getting better and stronger" -- then I had to keep exercising. I know they got the message. They no longer question my quest for better health. (They do ask me to be safe and not overdo things. I honor those logical requests since I know they are said out of love.)<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, I am still grappling with the words I keep hearing from those around me. I hear it most often when I enter the Oviedo Y. Apparently, people notice when you are really exercising and getting results. Perhaps that's what is happening and I'm just not totally prepared to accept that I've achieved my goals. That's not to say I can stop and no longer do classes. In fact, it means I not only have to continue but I must really make the effort to remain diligent. I've had a couple of days this past week where my energy level dropped and I simply didn't want to do much. I arrived at the Y unprepared to do anything in particular. However, I finally ventured into a Zumba class and remained there for 30 minutes. (I was ready to call it a day after that session although the class was 60 minutes.) Another day, I arrived and decided to attend a lecture given by Kim Lett, RD, the Y's dietitian. She was speaking about heart health and healthy eating -- the lecture was titled:" Don't go breaking your heart". That was in lieu of another exercise class that ran during the same time frame. I simply was "not in the mood" to exercise. For me, that's unusual but I do have those times where I am"tired" or "hurting too much" or simply "not in the zone" (my head isn't there)... so I've learned to adjust. I listen to my body. I used to do back to back cardio classes and now, I realize that is not always in my best interest. I was actually doing too much and was losing too much weight. (I attended sessions with a dietitian at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center Orlando where I learned how to balance my diet with exercise.) It has been a learning curve all along.<br />
<br />
Now, I must begin accepting the wonderful compliments that come from working so hard and achieving so much. It's not easy for me. I love complimenting others and giving praise. It is much more difficult for me to accept and appreciate the well meaning words from others. Slowly, I am doing so and I must say -- it feels great! I'm not sure how "awful" or "what I must have looked like even a year ago" but I enjoy hearing all the wonderful things people share with me. The kind, expressive words they say -- the compliments and the smiles I get as well. Both men and women sharing their praises... their compliments and inspiring words. A friend saying: "Marilyn, you look great!" Another one saying: "Marilyn, you inspire me!" Wow! And then, hearing so many others asking: "So when is the book coming out?" To that last question I can say... I am working diligently on that. I intend to publish my book this year. "High Maintenance" will be a success and in no small part, due to the incredible individuals I have met over the past 13 years. (As well as all the friends I have known most of my life and of course, my amazing family.)<br />
<br />
As I prepare to leave the house and venture back to the Y for yet another exercise session of some sort (not necessarily a class but a cardio activity plus muscle toning, etc.) I must be ready to "hear" perhaps another kind word or two. When I think about how good it feels when I hear their words, it's like Valentine's Day all-year long. There may not have been chocolates or hearts yesterday -- I did hear the words "Happy Valentine's Day" expressed along with a warm hug -- but more importantly, I am starting to realize that kindness, friendship, happiness and yes ... love -- is year round and not a single day in the calendar. In addition, being able to receive the compliments given by others is essential. (And yesterday, I received several more amazing compliments.) Once we can truly internalize that we are worthy of "compliments" and not feel "guilty" when we hear kind words spoken about us -- it's another way for us to grow. To learn more about ourselves. Even at my age, (And I'm young!) I am still learning more about me everyday. Those around me are helping -- because the journey is not meant to be solitary. Life is meant to be shared with others. Thus, it makes sense that we make friends along the way -- we share good times -- we share kindnesses -- we share a compliment or two. And now I know that I can enjoy those very special words that are meant for me. It's okay to smile, give a hug and say "thank you." (Because you did what you had to do and now, it's being acknowledged... congratulations!)Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-19816053716547776342014-01-18T15:43:00.001-05:002014-01-18T15:43:04.729-05:00It's The Feldman Dynamic:10th Anniversary We're back! At least, for one night only.<br />
<br />
Brian Feldman Projects presents <b>The Feldman Dynamic:10th Anniversary</b> on Jan. 21 at the JCC theater in Maitland. To learn more about this unique performance art project and its history -- and to purchase tickets in advance visit the following link --<br />
<br />
<b>http://tfd10.eventbrite.com</b><br />
<br />
You can read about how this project was first conceived and then developed plus you'll find out how four members of one family can exist harmoniously on-stage for 45 minutes in a totally unscripted, unrehearsed presentation. Needless to say, it is extraordinarily different.<br />
<br />
See you there.<br />
<br />Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-16024233768655304432014-01-01T14:16:00.000-05:002014-01-01T14:16:01.323-05:00A Whole New Year - 2014Without much fanfare, 2014 entered and now it is up to me to determine what I'll accomplish this year. I am not making an official resolution, although when I have done so I have had good success. I guess I am one of those individuals who really follows through.<br />
<br />
However, this year I simply intend to follow through on what I've been up to for the past year. My biggest project: Publishing my biographic / memoir "<i>High Maintenance</i>." It is no longer an item on my must do list. It is becoming a reality in 2014. No other option. No way out of it. I am going to make this happen. Why? It's simple. It is not being read while it exists on my computer system. No one is reading <i>"High Maintenance"</i> and getting the messages I've written. I did not write this book for me or for that matter, my immediate family. (Although I hope they want to read it, too.) I wrote this book for the masses ... for people around the world. When I set out to write my manuscript it was meant to be shared with as many people as possible. I never intended it to be anything less than "a major item" or just "a book for a small group of readers." Unlike other individuals I know who have written "memoirs" in order to share certain things with family and close friends -- <i>"High Maintenance" </i>was written with a larger audience in mind. Thus, this project has been a major ordeal for me and I fully intend to see it become what it is intended to be ... a large publishing project that includes an ebook version as well as a "standard book" version. How that is going to happen still remains a bit of a mystery at this time, although I have been extremely busy building up my contacts. I spend hours upon hours "linking into" potential contacts who may be able to either help me publish my book or lead me to a potential contract.<br />
<br />
Yes! 2014 will be an exciting year for me. My childhood dreams of being a "book author" will come true. While I have written for many publications over the years and have had numerous items published in various formats (including books, magazines, newspapers, etc.) this particular project is huge. I spent three long years writing "<i>High Maintenance"</i> -- after years of severe writer's block due to depression. The United Arts of Central Florida grant I received in 2008 for literature opened the door for this book. My play "<i>Chemonologues" </i>was the catalyst for the manuscript that became the book. Even from its earliest beginnings, <i>"High Maintenance"</i> was to become my first major book. (I have other manuscripts that need to be worked on. So, future books are already in the works.)<br />
<br />
I know I have asked you before, but it never hurts to ask again. Do you have any publishing connections? Do you know a publishing rep? Or a publishing company looking for a non-fiction author? If so, email me right away. I am busy compiling the names and potential resources within the publishing industry. This year it will happen because there is simply no other option. I set out to accomplish this and now, my closest friends and family are "calling me out on it." I can't let them down nor can I let myself down. This will happen in 2014.<br />
<br />
And, once I have a contract signed, sealed and a book is being printed, rest assured I will let you know the date it hits the market. You, my blog readers, will be notified in a BIG way!<br />
<br />
This will be an amazing year, one also filled with good health. However, I have put in for a year that includes "prosperity" and "a bit of good fortune." There is a lot happening this year and I want to be a part of everything going on. To make that happen, the "financial" aspects of my life need to change for the better. As I see it, this book can and will make that happen. Am I being overly optimistic? Not at all. I am confident, of course, and that's a good thing for anyone. I do believe in my project -- I am very proud of my work. I cannot wait to have it published and finally in the hands of everyone around the world. (or on their computer screens)<br />
<br />
Oh, and by the way, wishing you and your family a happy, healthy and prosperous new year.<br />
<br />
<br />Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-71469863000145086162013-12-18T18:36:00.001-05:002013-12-18T18:36:16.376-05:00Forgetting ... Celebrating ... And FInding my Voice Despite my best intentions and although I keep hoping my brain will function at 100 percent capacity, I still forget stuff. I call it "latent chemo brain" syndrome. (Simply another side effect of all the drugs I've had over the years plus my chemotherapy regimen back in 2002.) There are times I'm glad just to remember my own name. (Trust me, I probably don't know yours.)<br />
<br />
Anyway, I was recently "reminded" that I forgot some vital things that were a part of our holiday celebration. For instance, I mentioned we had latkes. But, I forgot to note that these were not just any average latkes. They were vegan latkes -- created by Edward, so that all of us (including Brian) could enjoy the holiday favorite. He never asked his Dad to make them and would have never complained had he not. However, we were all able to enjoy these delicious and probably his best ever potato latkes. Ed is still "talking" about them and even said he should have brought some to the housewarming party held on Dec. 17 at Adrienne's and Jason's new home.<br />
<br />
Speaking of housewarming parties and gifts -- Edward also gave the happy new homeowners (it's in Adrienne's room) a brand new iMac computer. Her former system was very, very old and hardly functioned -- thus, Adrienne really needed a new computer in order to stay in touch with the world. Needless to say, she is thrilled. Jason is also enjoying a new device that allows him to wave his hands (almost like magic) and have things move across the screen. I'm not a techie person and Ed has told me about a dozen times the name of this device, but I keep forgetting. (Another moment.) Whatever it is called, I know that Jason will enjoy being able to use it and hopefully, Adrienne will also master the "new device" as well. Another surprise for the couple was when Jason's family gave them a new high definition, big screen television. It has a prominent spot in the great room.<br />
<br />
The housewarming / holiday party was a huge success. The couple prepared their "deliciously famous" cheese fondue. (Yummy!) Plates of fresh French bread, carrots, apples and broccoli were set out to accompany the fondue. They also put out mini kosher "pigs in the blanket" along with chips and salsa. There were some cupcakes, cookies and a friend of hers brought along a chocolate cake made by another co-worker. The cake was "awesome." I wanted more but I knew my blood glucose levels were already off the charts. (Cheating during the holidays is okay, but I could tell that I would be paying the price for my indulgence.)<br />
<br />
I know that they enjoyed showing off their adorable new home -- located in Davenport, Polk County. The housing development is surrounded by orange groves, so it's a fairly rural area. The good news is that "shopping" and plenty of it is located conveniently nearby. Within a short driving distance, they can find a Publix, Walmart, Target, Winn Dixie, ALDI, and a multitude of other stores including Lowes (where they have been known to spend a great deal of time) and several dollar stores. Although they have not really met any neighbors, I'm sure that they will soon be making new friends. As a brand new development where construction is still underway, it is exciting to realize the potential.<br />
<br />
The month of December always tends to be a bit crazy and this year is no exception. I have already eaten way too much. Today, after doing my basic spin class (30 minutes) I attended a luncheon at Chili's for the Y's program committee members. Tomorrow, I will be attending a volunteer recognition luncheon at the Y and on Friday, following Zumba, we are holding a class party. Seriously! I keep eating and eating, which can only mean I must keep exercising too.<br />
<br />
On top of all this, I've lost my voice. (I'm trying to find it,) About a day and a half ago, I noticed my voice started sounding differently. It is now quite raspy and although I have attempted to keep from talking, it has been nearly impossible. Try attending a luncheon without speaking. At least while writing this blog, I have remained silent. (Except for when Ed called me -- even though I had text him a message indicating my voice was nearly gone.) I have no idea why my voice has suddenly gone away, although my theory is "that it's weather related." We have had real ups and down with our temperatures here -- going from lows in the upper 40s to highs in the upper 60s or low 70s. The sudden chill in the air is not good for my body and this may be another "sign" that cold weather and I do not get along well. A couple of weeks ago, (during another cold front) I was in a lot of physical pain. I was reaching for extra pain medication because my body was having a difficult time handling the cold. Now, it's my voice. Fortunately, I feel fine (no fever and no sore throat) -- but I have started taking a nasal decongestant just in case.<br />
<br />
I told a friend during lunch "All I want for Christmas is my voice." I fully intend to "fully" recover. I have had a healthy 2013 and the game plan is for 2014 to be an extremely healthy year. I will not accept anything less.<br />
<br />
While my brain may not always be in tip-top form, I am keeping this "body" in the best shape possible. I have heard that "we" can ward off serious mental health challenges (including dementia) by staying in good physical shape. So, here it is -- my only resolution for the coming year... to stay healthy. If that is accomplished, I can certainly do everything else I have on my agenda .. and more.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-827849359709327612013-12-15T13:02:00.000-05:002013-12-15T13:02:30.817-05:00Live is an Adventure -- Time with Brian & Much More I love surprises! So you can imagine my overwhelming happiness when my son, Brian, surprised me (and his Dad) by showing up in town for the combination of Thanksgiving and Chanukah. My "dream" had come true.<br />
<br />
Thus, instead of having to have him join us in a "virtual" sense" we were able to spend some real quality time together these past few days. It was incredible.<br />
<br />
Keeping in mind that Brian is a vegan, he watched as I "molested" the turkey and began preparations for it to go into the oven. It was "quite bizarre" to have him watching over me as I did the work necessary to get "Mr Bird" ready for dinner. At one point, I pulled out a part of the turkey from its "inners" and both Brian and Edward questioned what the "part" was. They actually thought I was pulling out the "bird's penis" and in fact, it was the "neck" of the turkey. Already knowing Ed's frame of mind, I could only laugh when Brian made his comments. He really had no idea what was happening -- and of course, he would not be eating "my masterpiece" anyway. But, to his credit, he did help clean up the kitchen including many of the items used to "molest" the holiday bird. Our kitchen was always a source of fun anyway -- and now, having this opportunity to cook and to share this moment with Brian was very special.<br />
<br />
Later that same day, he treated us to a hockey game at the new Amway Arena in Orlando. To keep things a secret, we told Adrienne to meet us nearby the stadium and we would all drive there together. Needless to say, she was "thrilled" to see her big brother jump out of the car to hug her. Unfortunately, Jason had to work that evening. But, the game was fun to watch (the Solar Bears did win) and we ate lots and lots of food.<br />
<br />
The next morning, Brian treated the three of us to breakfast at Disney's Polynesian resort and its Kona Cafe. This has always been a big favorite of ours, and Brian had learned via a friend that the restaurant offered a vegan Tonga French toast. It is a first -- we all ordered the same dish, although Brian's would be prepared vegan style. The chef came out of "his kitchen" to talk to us about our needs. Brian said he was a vegan and I mentioned I had diabetes. Instead of getting the strawberry syrup with my dish, he offered me fresh strawberries. We all enjoyed our meals -- delicious doesn't even come close to describing the overall experience. Besides talking all through breakfast, each of us devoured our food. I, however, could not even finish my entire entree. The Tonga French toast serving size was enormous! I could have easily shared the dish. But, let me assure you that Ed, Brian and Adrienne all cleaned their plates. And, yes, we all left very satisfied.<br />
<br />
After dropping Edward off to work, Brian and I were onto the next adventure. The rest of our day was driving from place to place -- exploring a variety of locations. We first visited the Seminole County site of the Senator tree, now just a stump of burned wood -- the victim of an arson fire. Brian and I recalled how beautiful the tree was and what a tragedy had befallen this special tree.<br />
<br />
Next, we stopped by a location in Orlando known as the "east end market." There were a variety of vendors -- mostly, vegetarian or vegan. Brian enjoyed a fruit and veggie smoothie. I also snapped photos of the vegetable garden outside the marketplace. Since I am now a part of the Oviedo Y's Community Garden, I wanted to show my fellow committee members how this garden was organized and what vegetables were being grown. It turned out to be an educational experience for me -- besides being a fun way to spend time with Brian. There was also lunch at Dandelion Cafe.<br />
<br />
We eventually made our way to Whole Foods, where Brian picked up some items for his Thanksgiving meal. Then, after a visit with another friend, Brian joined me in lighting the candles on the menorah for the first night of Chanukah.<br />
<br />
Thanksgiving Day, Brian had rented a car and met us at Adrienne's & Jason's new home in Davenport. He had a special housewarming gift for his sister and brother-in-law ... an original movie poster of the Mel Brook's film "The Frisco Kid" which he had shipped to a friend's house here in Florida. Brian presented this framed version as a gift and both Adrienne and Jason were ecstatic.<br />
<br />
The holiday meal was perfect. Everyone had plenty to eat. Trust me, no left the table feeling like he or she did not have enough. As Adrienne put it -- "we had latkes and turkey." Since the two holidays coincided (such a rare phenomenon) many referred to it as Thanksgivukah. Thanksgiving eve was the second night of Chanukah -- thus we lite our menorahs as part of the festivities. The lights of the candles burned brightly as did the electric menorah in the kitchen window. We used two different table covers -- one with fall colors and the other a Chanukah theme. It worked perfectly.<br />
<br />
One of the most beautiful and profound moments was when Brian shared with me the reason he joined us for the holidays. This was a last minute decision on his part; we had no idea he was coming down from Washington, D.C. to join us. I had really thought we would be talking by phone that night.<br />
<br />
Turns out, Brian had visited Philadelphia recently and during his short trip, he went to the cemetery where my parents are buried. Brian knew his maternal grandmother -- Henrietta Wattman, or as he called her "Bubbie." He never knew his "Pop Pop Bernie." I named Brian in his beloved memory. I had never seen my Mom's grave marker. I last visited Philadelphia in October 2006 when she passed away. He took photos and sent them to me via text. That meant so much to me. But, there was more. This experience left a greater mark on Brian. He told me that when he "looked at Bubbie's marker" he saw the dates. There was the date of her birth, January 10, 1928 and then, the date of her death, October 18, 2006. It was the "dash" between the dates that got to him. It was those memories that mean the most. So, he had to be with us -- with the two holidays coinciding in such a unique manner, it was "important" to Brian to be with us. Plus, he wanted to be with his sister within the first month she was in her new home. All these "moments in life" -- the "dash" of our lives ... that's why he traveled by bus to be with us. I felt "tears" welling up in my eyes as I heard him share these thoughts.<br />
<br />
If I ever doubted my parenting skills, I had no reason whatsoever to doubt I had done something right. I love holidays -- especially when I get to share them with my family and friends. I love creating memories. I treasure the thoughts of those three precious days and nights. The laughter...fun..more laughter..all the food (lots of it) ... the stories ... the experiences.<br />
<br />
Life is an adventure and I intend to live it fully in 2014. Are you willing to join me? If so, be prepared for just about anything. (Okay, I'm not a daredevil, so anything "stupid" or "scary" or "dangerous" is off the list.) I'm being real here. I'm all about enjoying life. I plan to keep exercising because I know it's helping my body and my mind. I hope to travel next year. There's a wedding I want to be at in Sheffield, England. It's next July. (I still need a passport. And I need money! But, I haven't given up the dream of being there.) And if I make it to England, I want to get to Paris, France and see Disneyland Paris with Adrienne and Jason. I would also like to visit Brussels -- where I could meet up with cousins who live there. And a cruise. Or a chance to visit Washington, D.C. and Philadelphia. Travel!! It's on my game plan. I also want to get a car -- that's freedom spelled -- CAR.<br />
<br />
Plan your adventures or -- just ab lib. Either way, experience life and all it has to offer. And build those memories! (So many more stories -- guess I can share those later.)Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-72195839488313696242013-11-23T12:37:00.000-05:002013-11-23T12:37:33.048-05:00The Hoilday Season Begins - Time to Build Memories This is an extremely unique year. The holidays of Thanksgiving and Chanukah come together -- a phenomenon that happens so rarely that this "combo" will not occur again for another 70,000 years.<br />
<br />
Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar (It's 5774) and not the Gregorian calendar that we generally follow. Thus, for Jewish families it's an opportunity to combine these two holidays, both in a tradition sense and perhaps, even coming up with some "new" ideas.<br />
<br />
Within my own family, Thanksgiving has always meant "lots of food" as well as "lots of people to eat that food." Growing up in Philadelphia, I recall smelling the food being prepared by my Mom who cooked up a feast. Participants included my Dad, my two brothers and usually -- at least one or two aunts and uncles along with their kids -- my cousins. Seated around the table were approximately 20 or more. That was typical. The dining room would be packed with "starving people" ready to devour the turkey and other goodies prepared. Let's just say it was a "non-stop eat-a-thon." Besides the "star of the dinner" -- the turkey, there were assorted side dishes. My Mom, at some point, started preparing a stuffing made from Rice-a-Roni. She always had green beans and mashed potatoes. We were "basic" eaters, nothing fancy at the table -- but all the food was delicious and plentiful.<br />
<br />
When I began my own "family" and was ready to prepare a Thanksgiving feast of my own, I wanted to have "fun." I did not want this holiday to be "difficult" or "stressful" or anything negative. It was a time to be "thankful" -- thus, I wanted to enjoy the prep time.<br />
<br />
I enjoy cooking. Being in the kitchen... reading recipes, deciding on a menu and preparing the food is something I like doing. It's not a chore. Thus, as I began my work of prepping the bird and doing all the other stuff associated with the holiday, I always tried to have a good time. After the turkey was ready for cooking and as I placed the "heavy" roaster dish into the oven, I would say something like "See you later Birdie." I'm not sure if the kids ever heard me, but it was fun. Then, I would start all the side dishes. I know that a favorite within my family was the "sweet noodle kugel." I cannot recall how or when this all began, but I know that Ed, Brian and Adrienne all liked this dish. I made my "kugel" with cottage cheese, sour cream, margarine, eggs, noodles (egg-free when they became available) and canned pineapple. (For those who may be thinking that I had meat and dairy together -- I obviously do not keep a kosher home.) When Brian became a vegetarian, I could still offer up the kugel for all to enjoy. However, when he announced he was vegan, I still made the kugel but came up with other dishes for him to enjoy. I have also prepared many "vegan" style dishes for the holiday including those made from soy and the famous "Tofurkey." I'm flexible. Tradition is wonderful but I'm ready to move forward -- ready to try new things along the way.<br />
<br />
Life has indeed moved forward. Adrienne and Jason have a brand new home. Ed and I will be spending Thanksgiving / Chanukah with them. Brian now resides in Washington, D.C. and will have his own holiday experience. I will, however, be making "big bird" along with "latkes." Yes! It's definitely Chanukah and that means "potato latkes (pancakes) topped off with applesauce or if it all works out, I hope to prepare a dish that combines apples and cranberries. (Bringing the two holidays together.) There will be plenty of food. We will also light the candles on our menorahs as we celebrate the second night of the holiday.<br />
<br />
The Feldmah Dynamic (Ed, Marilyn, Brian and Adrienne) may not all be together this year for the holiday, however, I'm sure that thanks to "technology" we will be able to share a few moments together. Holidays come and go and like I noted above, I believe it's wise to have traditions but it's also "smart" to go with the flow and be flexible. I want Adrienne and Jason to begin their own holiday traditions in their new home. I can't wait to see what they come up with and how I get to be a part of it all. Isn't like wonderful. We get to share these moments with the people we love and care about and in the process, we will build memories. It's those memories that allow us to keep traditions alive.<br />
<br />
Wishing everyone a very Happy and Safe Thanksgiving. And to those celebrating Chanukah, may it be bright and happy as well. My best to everyone this holiday season. Good health always!Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-55103631972654225952013-09-03T15:11:00.000-04:002013-09-03T15:11:26.519-04:00Another Annual "Schmooshing" -- A New Year Ahead On Sept. 4, 2013 I will have another annual mammogram or as I prefer to call it <i>"my annual schmooshing."</i> It's where a tech takes my two breasts (one much larger than the other) and literally "flattens" them to the same size within this big, cold machine. The "plates" of the mammo machine are cold -- and although technology has greatly changed over the years and the "pain" endured has also greatly lessened over those years -- this is not something I look forward to doing. However, this test did save my life!<br />
<br />
Back in Nov. 2000 when I had my annual mammogram, little did I know that I would leave that test center "a very different woman" than when I entered. I entered happy and feeling just find. When I left after having numerous "extra" films plus a sonogram - as well as a complete check over by the radiologist that included a thorough exam of my breasts -- let's just say I was "confused." I still did not realize there was a potential problem. I was told my GYN would get the results and that, after she received the information, I would most likely need a follow up. Okay, that wasn't too scary. But why all the extra images? Why the sonogram? And, why the actual physical exam? That part really scared me more, especially when the doctor asked me, "When did you first feel this lump?" My reply, "What lump?" She took my fingers and placed them onto a "lump" she felt -- trust me, I consider myself a relatively intelligent individual. That night, even with my husband's help, neither of us could find "that lump." I never did find it. But the doctor's sure did!<br />
<br />
On Dec. 4, 2000, I signed paperwork that allowed for a biopsy and if necessary, a lumpectomy. Well, when I woke up and was in recovery at the Ambulatory Care Center at Orlando Regional Medical Center in Orlando, I learned that of the two lumps they ultimately removed, one was benign - the larger of the two was malignant. I was now a breast cancer survivor. My life had changed in an instant.<br />
<br />
I am a big supporter of the mammograms because like I stated above, I never felt the lump that was there. (The bigger of the two.) That is terrifying! Plus, I know that although self exams are very important, the mammogram did find a much smaller growth that was also removed. (That one was benign.)<br />
<br />
Every year, like clockwork, I do my annual "<i>schmooshing." </i>Now that my "boobs" are really different in size, shape and (whatever) -- I have a much stronger belief in this technology and its importance. And, since my annual test is on the eve of the Jewish New Year, it is taking on a much stronger meaning. (I'll be having it done early afternoon.)<br />
<br />
I have been so fortunate that since 2005, my breast cancer has been in a "maintaining course." My oncology team at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center Orlando led by Dr. Nikita Shah, MD is the best! I am able to see -- from PET scan to PET scan and from visit to visit -- that maintenance treatment works. I was on Herceptin for nearly 10 years. I am still on Zometa plus I still take Aromasin on a nightly basis.<br />
<br />
As I enter a New Year -- as Rosh Hashanah begins, I see a whole new year ahead. One I intend to fill with happiness as well as good health. I don't take my health for granted. Every aspect of my life is essential -- from breathing to simply waking up each day -- it's all a wonderful miracle that I greatly appreciate.<br />
<br />
I want to wish all of my family and friends (and readers of Marilyn's Byline) a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. May you all be written into the Book of Life in the coming year. L'Shana Tovah. (And I will let you know all about my "<i>schmooshing</i>" in a future blog.)<br />
<br />
<br />Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-19798391042626930752013-08-24T13:10:00.000-04:002013-08-24T13:10:36.845-04:00Help Me Cross The Finish Line at ACS Making Strides<b>It's that time of year, again!</b><br />
<br />
I will be attending this year's <b>ACS Making Strides Against Breast Cancer on Saturday, Oct. 19, 2013</b> at Lake Eola in beautiful downtown Orlando. It will be a lovely day -- no matter what. And, I expect to be up "bright and early" that morning all ready for the 5K walk around the streets of Orlando.<br />
<br />
This year I registered as an individual. However, <b>I </b>still <b>have an ACS MSABC website</b> that you can visit and where online donations can be made. You can visit:<br />
<br />
<b>http://main.acsevents.org/goto/marilynwattmanfeldman</b><br />
<br />
I greatly appreciate any contribution. If you can recall (if you're old enough to do so) <b>the March of Dimes only asked for donations of 10 cents per person to rid the world of polio. It worked!</b> Now, with inflation, dollars make the difference. But seriously,<b> even a gift of $5 or $10 can make a significant difference.</b> By going online to this secure site, you can make a personal contribution that will go towards the ACS mission of providing patient services, education, advocacy and research. I am alive today thanks to drugs created by researchers funded through ACS dollars. For me, it is truly and matter of life and death.<br />
<br />
I have personally lost too many dear friends and family to breast cancer. At this time, I want to recall Nancy and Ellen. Both were amazing women. Neither wanted to lose her battle. They fought courageously. <b>Nancy was an elementary school teacher and she loved her kindergartens.</b> Every summer she would shop for books and toys that she would use to stock her classroom. <b>She also adored her family</b> -- they meant the world to her. <b>She would be so proud to know that one daughter became a CPA and the other, an attorney. Ellen was a leader when it came to advocacy. </b>She spent countless hours in Tallahassee and in Washington, DC fighting for research dollars through the American Cancer Society's Cancer Action Network. When I met her, we were on the bus to Tallahassee and trust me, <b>when Ellen spoke -- people listened</b>. And, they opened up their checkbooks and <b>at the congressional level -- they voted to give more dollars to ACS research.</b> She was also loved by her family.<br />
<br />
<b>I miss these incredible friends and "sisters" -- they will always remain reasons for me to Make Strides Against Breast Cancer. Please, find your reason and then, make a generous donation. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>I thank you, in advance, for caring. I am sending out Pink Hugs to all of you. </b>Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-52769378352764193722013-08-17T17:00:00.000-04:002013-08-17T17:00:12.806-04:00Day by day by day -- Say A Prayer for Me That's how life feels. I wake up (thank goodness) and I do the same things over and over again. The routines are the same. Day in and day out. Very little changes although I wish there would be some major change. I simply don't know what that would be.<br />
<br />
For instance. The past three days I've woken up about the same time, between 8:10 a.m. and 8:20 a.m. Twice I got up to answer the phone. But, even with that phone call, I was still on my way to getting up anyway. So, the caller didn't change much about my routine.<br />
<br />
It's rare for me to set the alarm unless I have a doctor's appointment or a hospital visit. If so, I need to ensure that I am ready to either get to the location or I need to be ready for pick up. Those days, I may find myself getting up as early as 7 a.m. depending upon pick up time. I am not thrilled but, my body does do something interesting. I usually wake up about five to 10 minutes prior to the alarm, which I hate hearing. I actually jump out of bed before the alarm, in most cases, and since I'm already up -- I will begin my routine. There was a time when I would try to go back to sleep and wait until I heard that "blasted" alarm go off. Oh, I remember those days. I was working back then. Interesting?<br />
<br />
Well, I get into the bathroom and begin my daily morning rituals. All the usual stuff, nothing out of the ordinary. If I have already planned my wardrobe for the day, I will quickly review what I selected and take what I need into the bathroom with me. If I haven't selected my clothes, I will go to the drawers and begin that "insane" process. Why insane? Because my wardrobe is so limited that I really have next to nothing to wear -- it's actually a good thing I no longer work. My entire wardrobe is "super casual." I have very little to wear. After losing so much weight, I still kept wearing clothes that were way too big. Then, I finally realized I needed something "smaller" and so I went shopping for a few things. With a limited budget that places clothing not only near the bottom of the list but on the "Is it really necessary or can I get away without it list?" ... Let's just say that I wear the same stuff over and over again. Each week it's basically the same outfits. I try to change it out a bit -- maybe a different top. Or maybe I'll wear a different pair of sneakers. Since I exercise most of the time, I don't have a need for a "frilly" wardrobe although it would be great to have "real workout" clothes. I had a few items but they are beginning to fall apart as well from "wear and tear." Fortunately, my friends at the Y don't really notice what I'm wearing -- we all look "sweaty" and "ready for a heavy duty workout" so the clothes are not really noticed. (Although I do take note of the members who are able to buy nice matching sets for Zumba or who can afford a nice pair of Capri's that fit right.) When I have a few extra dollars, I hit the markets -- Goodwill, Hope, or any of the thrift stores where for about $3 I can find a "new" pair of pants or a top for less. Thank goodness for bargains!<br />
<br />
Once I am dressed and I've taken my morning medications, then it's time for breakfast. No matter what, I do eat breakfast everyday. I may not eat immediately, but I know the importance of this meal. It was "pounded" into me during diabetes education classes. Breakfast, we were told, was an essential meal and never to be forgotten. If possible, I create a menu that includes a protein, a carb, a fruit, dairy and a fat. That's how I was taught. So, maybe I will have an egg, slice of toast, a glass of skim milk, some margarine on my toast and either a piece of fruit or a small glass of juice. Or, I may reach for the oatmeal adding some fresh or dried fruits and nuts. I may also add Greek yogurt to that meal, bringing in a great source of protein.<br />
<br />
I know how to eat healthy -- but then again, it's a matter of what I have in the pantry or refrigerator. Like clothing -- food is on a special list -- it's a "luxury" item. Please don't misunderstand what I mean here. I'm eating -- and I am by no means starving. What I do want to explain is that being on a "limited budget" has its challenges. Since the guidelines for food benefits seem to indicate that I "earn too much money" to receive any extra help, I need to be creative. Like with my clothing where I seek out bargains or thrifty options, I have found some help in this area as well. Thank goodness for local churches and area food pantries. While I never thought I would be standing in line for any of these places, I do have plenty of company each time I visit a location for help. There are many wonderful men and women out there who never thought they would need this extra help -- but here we are. All together at the local food bank, getting our weekly allotment. If lucky, maybe this week they will have eggs. Or perhaps extra fresh fruit or veggies?<br />
<br />
My day in and day out routine is rather simple. I am a survivor. I do whatever I have to do to make things happen. If I need something -- eventually, I will get it. Medications. I get those. They are on my priority list. Vitamins and supplements. I try not to run out, but if I do, it's only for a short time. Food. Trust me, I eat -- breakfast, lunch and dinner, even a snack or two. While I may not always eat the foods I would prefer (since I have to work my menu and diet around what I can get or find) I am doing quite well. Per all my medical testing, apparently I am doing all the right things. While I may want to eat a very healthy diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains, healthier proteins, etc., I may need to make modifications based on what I can get and what's in the pantry and refrigerator/freezer. But, I can assure you that when I can get my hands on the "best" I enjoy it. When I have to settle for "second best" I am also extremely grateful. Considering that there are individuals not eating everyday or starving because food is not available -- believe me, I am happy living day by day by day.<br />
<br />
Surviving cancer has been a major life changing experience. I have learned to appreciate "little things" and I have come to realize that even "out of date" items are still okay. Bottom line for this survivor -- I don't "sweat the small stuff" any longer. Living day by day by day is A - OK with me. I can make a meal out of anything and I can make it healthy, too. I can make an outfit out of whatever I find in my closet or drawers. I can still walk with pride and hold my head up high. Why? Very simple. I am able to get up each and everyday. I don't take that for granted. I don't even take breathing or walking for granted. I am so forever grateful to the people who have helped me reach this "day..." "this point in my life"... that I can find the beauty and happiness in every moment that I am awake. I love my simple daily routine. If this is living -- I am truly blessed.<br />
<br />
(By the way, if you're listening to my prayers, I would not be the least bit upset if you "blessed" me with a bit of financial well being. Even in "Fiddler on the Roof" he sang the song "If I Were a Rich Man." Personally, I don't think it would spoil any "plan" if I came into a few extra dollars and was able to help my family and friends. Whenever you can make this happen, I would be most appreciative. Meanwhile, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Thanks. Amen.)Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-89480310695810018932013-08-13T15:12:00.002-04:002013-08-13T15:12:42.343-04:00A Whole New Chapter BeginsI realize that when I started writing this blog, <i>Marilyn's Byline</i>, I had a "hidden agenda." I wanted to promote my book, which at the time was a work in progress. It was suggested to me by a wonderfully talented young woman by the name of <b>Sultana Ali </b>that I start this blog. First, she had to tell what a "blog" was. I had no idea. Then, I had to find someone to help me get stated. That artistically talented individual was <b>Thomas Thorspecken</b>, better known as Thor. He helped me get into Blogspot.com and the rest, as they say, is history. Oh, and I did get some additional help (artistically) from a well-known graphic designer,<b> Edward Feldman</b>. He took my original concept and made it look -- well, much more exciting as well as professional. I wanted to thank all three of these incredible people for their help, especially at a time when I was still coming out of my "fog."<br />
<br />
<i>Marilyn's Byline</i> started out as a way to let people know I was writing -- something I had stopped doing for way too many years. The years between 2002 - 2007 were downright horrible, physically and mentally. I could barely function on a daily basis let alone attempt anything remotely resembling a piece of writing. (Or anything that made sense.) I was a mess. My brain was overcome by chemo brain, a real dysfunction from which I still continue to suffer -- although I am better able to handle those moments.<br />
<br />
In late 2007, <b>Brian Feldman</b> (aka: my son) helped me apply for a literature grant from <i>United Arts of Central Florida</i>. I wrote on my application that I would write a play about cancer survivors and take that piece to a public play reading, all within a year's time. Talk about impossible! Even the judging panel who were there to determine if I would get the grant noted that this project was "impossible" even for professionals like themselves. But I was in la-la land and told them: "I'm a cancer survivor. I can do anything." I said that line three times. I knew I wasn't going to get the grant -- but, I did! Of course, as you may already know, I finished the project in March 2010 -- two years after I started. <i>Chemonologues</i> became a reality when it was read by a group of professional actors on the stage at Theatre Downtown in Orlando. I was "mentored" by <b>Julia Gagne</b>, formerly with Valencia Community College. She also directed the play reading.<br />
<br />
Now, I have completed my book <i>"High Maintenance.</i>" I am still deciding how to publish my memoir. The exciting thing is -- I completed the book. I did it. I spent three years writing -- but it's done. For me, that's a "giant" accomplishment. There was a time (between 2002 and 2007) where my brain could not have done this work. I could not even write two words in a sentence that made any sense. I was a totally dysfunctional person -- I could barely do anything physical. I had to learn how to "walk," again, twice. (2005 and 2008 after breaking my femurs) I spent plenty of time in hospitals and rehab centers. I endured surgeries, including the loss of the upper lobe of my left lung. (My breast cancer journey began to resemble a lung cancer survivor's journey.) Mentally, emotionally -- I was a wreck! I needed to get off the "roller-coaster, merry-go-round" I was on.<br />
<br />
Today, I am writing this new post with a whole different attitude. I feel great! I exercise on a regular basis. I enjoy exercising because I can see and feel the difference it has made. I do "crazy things" such as Zumba, water fitness, basic spinning and Tai Chi. I have tried many other classes along the way. I also enjoy working my muscles -- working at each session to gain better muscle tone and strength. It has become a passion for me.<br />
<br />
Thus, my new "blog" is about how my life has improved since I became whole again. What a feeling it is to know that each day I am truly "getting better and stronger." I just celebrated another year on August 9. I love it! I have a whole year to expand my horizons. To learn new things and accomplish goals. (Such as publishing my book) It doesn't get much better than that. So, join me on this incredible journey -- my adventure into year 61. You are invited to encourage me, join me, (which means you need to get off the sofa and start moving) and most importantly, support me. I cannot do this myself. I realized my limitations in 2002 and since then, I have depended upon family and friends for physical, emotional and spiritual support. I will have an awesome year. I cannot wait to see all the amazing things that will happen as each week and each month over the coming 61st year of my life as<b> Marilyn Susan Wattman-Feldman </b>unfolds.<br />
<br />
Here's to the next chapter in my life!Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-7688971064837109052013-07-22T14:27:00.001-04:002013-07-22T14:27:42.589-04:00My Magic Wand is Broken -- My Publishing Search Continues <b>During the time I was writing <i>"High Maintenance" </i>I did not allow myself to think about anything other than the actual process of writing</b>. I did not want to "confuse" myself or "attempt to multi-task" at any point during that three-year period. I knew it was "impossible" for me to do more than simply write. <b>Trying to do more -- even attempting a multi-tasking process -- I knew it was wrong for me. </b><br />
<br />
Now,<b> I have discovered that the publishing process can be challenging. </b>Since I still get "confused easily" especially by anything legal, I have had to depend upon others to read information I get from various sources. <b>That obvious adds more time to getting things done,</b> but I can assure you that I don't intend to take three years to publish my book. While<b> I was hoping this whole process would be easier,</b> I realize that nothing in life is simple. Just getting to where I am today, both physically and mentally, has taken time. <b>Doing it all in baby steps has never been easy.</b> I have had my moments of frustration. There have been those times where <b>I have had my own personal "breakdowns" or "temper-tantrums" that may make me feel good for the moment but certainly don't get me very far. </b>Yes! I am frustrated that things are not moving faster. <b>I wish I could find that "magic button" that would make this whole process go quickly</b>. I get the rep or publisher and within a reasonable amount of time, I have a published book. Easy! Sure, I wish it were that simple. <b>I need to get a "new magic wand" -- the warranty for my older model has expired!</b><br />
<br />
<b>If you know of anyone who is a publishing rep or can help open the door to a major publisher, that's my real goal. </b>Why?<b> I did not write <i>"High Maintenance"</i> as a family memento. </b>This book was not written on a whim.<b> I was not writing a memoir to be read by a few close friends. I have individuals throughout the country ready to read </b>this book. Some of these people are not necessarily known to me except perhaps via Face book or Linked In. Or through another person. (Third party?) Total strangers? Perhaps? But seriously, I know there are individuals ready to read <b><i>"High Maintenance"</i> once it is published. And, published as a real book.</b> (Although, of course, it would be available online.)<br />
<br />
I am checking every option. I read and re-read every email or notice I have received. Ideas provided to me are being examined. Over and over. I am looking into self-publishing, etc. But, it would be so much easier (Again, <b>I can't stop thinking about the easy way - since everything else in my journey has been difficult.) if I could simply find that publisher (I know you're out there.) who will t</b>ake my manuscript and publish it --- and <b>help me get it out there, to the world. To my readers. To my potential readers. To readers who don't even know I have a book for them to read. </b><br />
<br />
<b>"High Maintenance" will get published. As to when and how -- stay tuned for that next chapter in my life. </b>Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-31840851470948048182013-06-25T15:06:00.000-04:002013-06-25T15:06:35.991-04:00Something to Celebrate!<b>I get the call.</b> It's usually a nurse by the name of Frenchie and she's almost always assigned to contact me after a scan. In this case, it was pertaining to the PET scan I had on Monday morning. It was Tuesday morning and I was at the Oviedo Y. I needed to make up for lost time. Since I could not exercise on Sunday due to test prep and Monday was a total washout (being exhausted from an early morning trip to the hospital) I wanted a real workout. I had missed most of Zumba but did the last 15 minutes of class with Sharon. Then, I stayed for RIPPED with Francine. I already knew before even starting that I would be pushing -- but, I also figured I needed to jump start my weekly workouts.<br />
<br />
Once home, I kept trying to reach Frenchie with whom I was playing phone tag. Finally, <b>I heard her familiar voice. The word "negative" came through loud and clear.</b> <b>For the past eight years, I have remained in a cancer-free status. </b>The maintenance program established by Dr. Nikita Shah, MD has been working. And, for this, I am extremely thankful.<br />
<br />
<b>Hearing words like "cancer-free" or "no signs of cancer" are true music to my ears.</b> My entire body goes into a mode where I wish I were capable of "jumping really high!" In my mind, I am jumping to the ceiling and beyond. I could reach the moon with my jump! I could reach the stars and world's beyond -- all because I am so happy! <b>While I may not be able to physically jump or move fast these days, fortunately, my mind can more than make up for what my body lacks. I was doing somersaults when I heard the word "negative."</b> I was ready to climb to the top of the highest mountain peak! Prepared to swim across the ocean! Yes, in my mind (within my dreams) I can do anything. And, believe or not, I actually know that a great deal of my physical good health has come from my mental happiness and well being. <b>There is a direct tie-in between the physical and mental or emotional.</b> Being happy and feeling good mentally always helps when it comes to also feeling good physically. <b>Exercising on a regular / consistent basis has tremendously helped me over the years to accomplish my goal of "<i>getting better and stronger everyday in every way." </i></b><br />
<br />
<b>I have so much to celebrate today!</b> I have a lot to celebrate tomorrow! <b>While I remain a metastatic breast cancer survivor, I continue to enjoy this cancer-free status. I am <u>NOT </u>cured. I will not be considered <i>"cured" </i>until the actual <i>"cure"</i> for my particular type of breast cancer is found. </b>(I believe this will happen within my lifetime.) However, every time I have a scan and the results are "negative" for cancer or any sign of cancer -- I celebrate another victory in my journey.<br />
<br />
And<b> today, I finally decided on how I would publish my book "<i>High Maintenance."</i></b> I will get with a trainer at Apple (where I have a One to One training program) and begin learning a program that can take my manuscript and create an actual book. <b>Once I complete this process</b>, I can publish online -- those who have iBooks or other such devices will be able to purchase my book. Then, once I demonstrate the ability to generate readers who are buying my book,<b> then I can decide on the publishing future of "<i>High Maintenance.</i>" Ultimately, I want to see a real book on the shelves of local bookstores.</b> Based on today's great news, I know this will happen. "High Maintenance... Surviving Cancer at All Costs," is merely the beginning of my newest adventure -- becoming a bestselling author! <b>For me, this will be the culmination of a lifetime of dreams coming true. (Right now, my prayers of remaining "<i>cancer free</i>" have been answered and for this, I am eternity grateful.) </b>Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-1938878436896082692013-06-23T14:52:00.001-04:002013-06-23T14:52:39.777-04:00Yes, Another PET Scan -- Anther Test of PatienceAre you interested in good news? Great! Then I have some to share.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I will have my routine PET Scan tomorrow, June 24. The good news is that I have not had a scan since the end of last year. Apparently, my oncologist is beginning to feel that I am doing well enough that the time between scans can be increased, even if by a month or so. For me, it's another right of passage. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I continue to experience these "baby step" moments -- just another part of my reality as a cancer survivor. It seems almost like yesterday when she announced the end of my Herceptin treatments. I was totally overwhelmed. Then, I realized I would only go to MD Anderson Cancer Center Orlando every 12 weeks for my Zometa treatments. I was "buying" back more time to live. (The good news just keeps getting better.) Even my trips every 4 - 6 weeks for port flushes and labs (I visit South Seminole Hospital for these quick fixes.) have become so routine that I need to check my calendar to make sure I don't miss an appointment. Actually, appointment is not really accurate since I do not have a "real" date or time set for these trips. I merely show up when it is convenient for me and the staff at South Seminole's Infusion Department are very accommodating. My life as a breast cancer survivor has definitely changed for the better.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My overall health is good. I feel great most days, except for those times when my "chronic pain" begins to settle in. I could complain about the hip / lower back pain (the left side is still the worst) but truth is, I am so happy to not be living at pain levels of 10 or higher that right now, I am living the good life. I still reach for breakthrough pain medications, but much less. (My femur breaks reached 100 on the standard scale of 1 -10. And after my lung surgery, I lived 24/7 with level 10 pain all the time.) I personally find that exercise is a wonderful pain reliever. My basic cycling class has become a favorite especially since my hip pain disappears for the 30 minutes I am on the bike plus an additional time period afterwards. I still do a 60 minute aqua fitness class -- although there are times I stop at 30 or 40 minutes depending upon how I am feeling. This class is later in the day (5:45 p.m. on Monday) so there are times when I am already tired but still attend the class. I simply do what I can. Then I do Zumba. Yes, for those of you who cannot even imagine this -- I love Zumba! It's fun! It's all about having fun and no matter what you may think, it can be done at a low impact level. Trust me. I am usually standing next to an 80 + year old woman (a wonderful Y friend) and the two of us are enjoying class. We move slower than others -- our jumps (we don't jump at all) and our quick turns (we don't do those either) -- we have our own unique styles. However, here's the great news. Despite the fact that I may not be jumping high or moving fast, I am still getting great benefits from these Zumba classes. Cardio pulmonary wise I am definitely doing something right. My cardiologist tells me to keep "doing that Zumba thing." And my pulmonary doctor was amazed by my latest test results. My lungs are doing well -- I have very mild asthma which is basically exertion oriented. (I use my emergency inhaler before classes to keep my airways open.) I have been able to see test results go from severe to mild. When I say I feel good, I know that exercise can and does make a HUGE difference. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As usual, I am doing the PET prep diet. I call it the extreme Atkins diet -- all protein. No carbs. And no exercise or exertion since as a diabetic, my glucose levels may be lower than usual today. Oh and by the way, I never take these tests for granted. Like any "normal" person or as a "normal" cancer survivor, I am still having a slight anxiety attack. Since I cannot exercise, I have been walking (slowly) around the house today both going crazy from boredom as well as feeling a tinge of anxiousness. I would be totally "insane" if I did not exhibit some degree of concern. These PET scans are scary. They are designed to see all the way down to the cellular level within the body. Usually, if I get any written comments from the reviewing physician, it is a note that there is more arthritis. (It is not written that way, since doctors "love" using medical lingo.) But, as Dr. Shah (my medical oncologist) told me back in the very beginning, "arthritis does not kill." The pain from it may seem that way, but after years of reports indicating more locations of this condition - - quite honestly, I have come to embrace it. I even developed a "chant" where the techs and I would actually say things like "Let's hear it for A for arthritis." </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Tomorrow, I will be in a very cold room (they will wrap me in warm blankets) and I will be spending about an hour waiting for the nuclear drug to go throughout my body. I will be hanging out waiting. Just waiting. (Cancer patients do that a lot.) Then, I will walk over to one of two rooms where they have the PET scan. This part of the entire process does not take very long. It is shorter every time as technology improves. After I am done, I will find my way to a place where I can get a bite to eat. My usual post PET diet is a large amount of carbs. (Pancakes, lots of bread, fruits of all kinds.) I will eat my way through "carb-ville" and enjoy every moment of it. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Then, the true test of patience begins. I wait .. again. This time. for the test results. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5708959464569594142.post-33093751009660627632013-06-06T13:00:00.002-04:002013-06-06T13:02:43.987-04:00Ready for Publication<b><i>"High Maintenance"</i></b> is ready for publication. The editing and proofing has been completed. Now, the search for a publisher begins.<br />
<br />
I have been actively looking for options. I really want to go "big time" with my book. I know my readers include not only cancer survivors and their caregivers (families) but anyone with a chronic medical condition, anyone living with chronic pain (both physical and mental), those dealing with side effects from drugs and treatments, individuals with diabetes, asthma, osteoarthritis, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, pulmonary hypertension, sleep apnea; individuals who have dealt with the loss of a loved one; men and women dealing with relationship issues; and much more.<br />
<br />
<b><i>"High Maintenance"</i></b> is more than a look into 12 years of my journey through life after a cancer diagnosis. It is a roller coaster / merry-go-round ride through my life and those around me who had to deal with the issues I also dealt with. I never stopped believing I would make it through those darkest hours, although there were those moments where I had doubts and fears. I faced those horrific experiences -- sometimes with laughter and jokes, other times with tears and genuine nightmares. Yes! I even thought the unthinkable for a brief time. When the pain (both physical and mental) became so much I could barely make it through an hour, I thought those deep, scary thoughts. It took much more than my supportive family and friends to get me through. I had a (and still do have) wonderful team of medical professionals standing by my side. After surgeries, radiation treatments, hormonal drugs, chemotherapy and much more... "Everyday in every way I am getting better and stronger."<br />
<br />
If you know a publishing rep or a publisher, please contact me with that information. I have tried to find a rep, but apparently many of them are not accepting unsolicited manuscripts. With over 36 years of professional writing experience, I want to bring <b><i>"High Maintenance"</i></b> to the masses. I have readers nationwide (even worldwide) ready to read the book. I simply need help with the next step.<br />
<br />
<i><b>"High Maintenance"</b></i> will make it to the top!Marilynhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18109917436333142319noreply@blogger.com1