This is an extremely unique year. The holidays of Thanksgiving and Chanukah come together -- a phenomenon that happens so rarely that this "combo" will not occur again for another 70,000 years.
Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar (It's 5774) and not the Gregorian calendar that we generally follow. Thus, for Jewish families it's an opportunity to combine these two holidays, both in a tradition sense and perhaps, even coming up with some "new" ideas.
Within my own family, Thanksgiving has always meant "lots of food" as well as "lots of people to eat that food." Growing up in Philadelphia, I recall smelling the food being prepared by my Mom who cooked up a feast. Participants included my Dad, my two brothers and usually -- at least one or two aunts and uncles along with their kids -- my cousins. Seated around the table were approximately 20 or more. That was typical. The dining room would be packed with "starving people" ready to devour the turkey and other goodies prepared. Let's just say it was a "non-stop eat-a-thon." Besides the "star of the dinner" -- the turkey, there were assorted side dishes. My Mom, at some point, started preparing a stuffing made from Rice-a-Roni. She always had green beans and mashed potatoes. We were "basic" eaters, nothing fancy at the table -- but all the food was delicious and plentiful.
When I began my own "family" and was ready to prepare a Thanksgiving feast of my own, I wanted to have "fun." I did not want this holiday to be "difficult" or "stressful" or anything negative. It was a time to be "thankful" -- thus, I wanted to enjoy the prep time.
I enjoy cooking. Being in the kitchen... reading recipes, deciding on a menu and preparing the food is something I like doing. It's not a chore. Thus, as I began my work of prepping the bird and doing all the other stuff associated with the holiday, I always tried to have a good time. After the turkey was ready for cooking and as I placed the "heavy" roaster dish into the oven, I would say something like "See you later Birdie." I'm not sure if the kids ever heard me, but it was fun. Then, I would start all the side dishes. I know that a favorite within my family was the "sweet noodle kugel." I cannot recall how or when this all began, but I know that Ed, Brian and Adrienne all liked this dish. I made my "kugel" with cottage cheese, sour cream, margarine, eggs, noodles (egg-free when they became available) and canned pineapple. (For those who may be thinking that I had meat and dairy together -- I obviously do not keep a kosher home.) When Brian became a vegetarian, I could still offer up the kugel for all to enjoy. However, when he announced he was vegan, I still made the kugel but came up with other dishes for him to enjoy. I have also prepared many "vegan" style dishes for the holiday including those made from soy and the famous "Tofurkey." I'm flexible. Tradition is wonderful but I'm ready to move forward -- ready to try new things along the way.
Life has indeed moved forward. Adrienne and Jason have a brand new home. Ed and I will be spending Thanksgiving / Chanukah with them. Brian now resides in Washington, D.C. and will have his own holiday experience. I will, however, be making "big bird" along with "latkes." Yes! It's definitely Chanukah and that means "potato latkes (pancakes) topped off with applesauce or if it all works out, I hope to prepare a dish that combines apples and cranberries. (Bringing the two holidays together.) There will be plenty of food. We will also light the candles on our menorahs as we celebrate the second night of the holiday.
The Feldmah Dynamic (Ed, Marilyn, Brian and Adrienne) may not all be together this year for the holiday, however, I'm sure that thanks to "technology" we will be able to share a few moments together. Holidays come and go and like I noted above, I believe it's wise to have traditions but it's also "smart" to go with the flow and be flexible. I want Adrienne and Jason to begin their own holiday traditions in their new home. I can't wait to see what they come up with and how I get to be a part of it all. Isn't like wonderful. We get to share these moments with the people we love and care about and in the process, we will build memories. It's those memories that allow us to keep traditions alive.
Wishing everyone a very Happy and Safe Thanksgiving. And to those celebrating Chanukah, may it be bright and happy as well. My best to everyone this holiday season. Good health always!
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Another Annual "Schmooshing" -- A New Year Ahead
On Sept. 4, 2013 I will have another annual mammogram or as I prefer to call it "my annual schmooshing." It's where a tech takes my two breasts (one much larger than the other) and literally "flattens" them to the same size within this big, cold machine. The "plates" of the mammo machine are cold -- and although technology has greatly changed over the years and the "pain" endured has also greatly lessened over those years -- this is not something I look forward to doing. However, this test did save my life!
Back in Nov. 2000 when I had my annual mammogram, little did I know that I would leave that test center "a very different woman" than when I entered. I entered happy and feeling just find. When I left after having numerous "extra" films plus a sonogram - as well as a complete check over by the radiologist that included a thorough exam of my breasts -- let's just say I was "confused." I still did not realize there was a potential problem. I was told my GYN would get the results and that, after she received the information, I would most likely need a follow up. Okay, that wasn't too scary. But why all the extra images? Why the sonogram? And, why the actual physical exam? That part really scared me more, especially when the doctor asked me, "When did you first feel this lump?" My reply, "What lump?" She took my fingers and placed them onto a "lump" she felt -- trust me, I consider myself a relatively intelligent individual. That night, even with my husband's help, neither of us could find "that lump." I never did find it. But the doctor's sure did!
On Dec. 4, 2000, I signed paperwork that allowed for a biopsy and if necessary, a lumpectomy. Well, when I woke up and was in recovery at the Ambulatory Care Center at Orlando Regional Medical Center in Orlando, I learned that of the two lumps they ultimately removed, one was benign - the larger of the two was malignant. I was now a breast cancer survivor. My life had changed in an instant.
I am a big supporter of the mammograms because like I stated above, I never felt the lump that was there. (The bigger of the two.) That is terrifying! Plus, I know that although self exams are very important, the mammogram did find a much smaller growth that was also removed. (That one was benign.)
Every year, like clockwork, I do my annual "schmooshing." Now that my "boobs" are really different in size, shape and (whatever) -- I have a much stronger belief in this technology and its importance. And, since my annual test is on the eve of the Jewish New Year, it is taking on a much stronger meaning. (I'll be having it done early afternoon.)
I have been so fortunate that since 2005, my breast cancer has been in a "maintaining course." My oncology team at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center Orlando led by Dr. Nikita Shah, MD is the best! I am able to see -- from PET scan to PET scan and from visit to visit -- that maintenance treatment works. I was on Herceptin for nearly 10 years. I am still on Zometa plus I still take Aromasin on a nightly basis.
As I enter a New Year -- as Rosh Hashanah begins, I see a whole new year ahead. One I intend to fill with happiness as well as good health. I don't take my health for granted. Every aspect of my life is essential -- from breathing to simply waking up each day -- it's all a wonderful miracle that I greatly appreciate.
I want to wish all of my family and friends (and readers of Marilyn's Byline) a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. May you all be written into the Book of Life in the coming year. L'Shana Tovah. (And I will let you know all about my "schmooshing" in a future blog.)
Back in Nov. 2000 when I had my annual mammogram, little did I know that I would leave that test center "a very different woman" than when I entered. I entered happy and feeling just find. When I left after having numerous "extra" films plus a sonogram - as well as a complete check over by the radiologist that included a thorough exam of my breasts -- let's just say I was "confused." I still did not realize there was a potential problem. I was told my GYN would get the results and that, after she received the information, I would most likely need a follow up. Okay, that wasn't too scary. But why all the extra images? Why the sonogram? And, why the actual physical exam? That part really scared me more, especially when the doctor asked me, "When did you first feel this lump?" My reply, "What lump?" She took my fingers and placed them onto a "lump" she felt -- trust me, I consider myself a relatively intelligent individual. That night, even with my husband's help, neither of us could find "that lump." I never did find it. But the doctor's sure did!
On Dec. 4, 2000, I signed paperwork that allowed for a biopsy and if necessary, a lumpectomy. Well, when I woke up and was in recovery at the Ambulatory Care Center at Orlando Regional Medical Center in Orlando, I learned that of the two lumps they ultimately removed, one was benign - the larger of the two was malignant. I was now a breast cancer survivor. My life had changed in an instant.
I am a big supporter of the mammograms because like I stated above, I never felt the lump that was there. (The bigger of the two.) That is terrifying! Plus, I know that although self exams are very important, the mammogram did find a much smaller growth that was also removed. (That one was benign.)
Every year, like clockwork, I do my annual "schmooshing." Now that my "boobs" are really different in size, shape and (whatever) -- I have a much stronger belief in this technology and its importance. And, since my annual test is on the eve of the Jewish New Year, it is taking on a much stronger meaning. (I'll be having it done early afternoon.)
I have been so fortunate that since 2005, my breast cancer has been in a "maintaining course." My oncology team at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center Orlando led by Dr. Nikita Shah, MD is the best! I am able to see -- from PET scan to PET scan and from visit to visit -- that maintenance treatment works. I was on Herceptin for nearly 10 years. I am still on Zometa plus I still take Aromasin on a nightly basis.
As I enter a New Year -- as Rosh Hashanah begins, I see a whole new year ahead. One I intend to fill with happiness as well as good health. I don't take my health for granted. Every aspect of my life is essential -- from breathing to simply waking up each day -- it's all a wonderful miracle that I greatly appreciate.
I want to wish all of my family and friends (and readers of Marilyn's Byline) a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. May you all be written into the Book of Life in the coming year. L'Shana Tovah. (And I will let you know all about my "schmooshing" in a future blog.)
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Help Me Cross The Finish Line at ACS Making Strides
It's that time of year, again!
I will be attending this year's ACS Making Strides Against Breast Cancer on Saturday, Oct. 19, 2013 at Lake Eola in beautiful downtown Orlando. It will be a lovely day -- no matter what. And, I expect to be up "bright and early" that morning all ready for the 5K walk around the streets of Orlando.
This year I registered as an individual. However, I still have an ACS MSABC website that you can visit and where online donations can be made. You can visit:
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/marilynwattmanfeldman
I greatly appreciate any contribution. If you can recall (if you're old enough to do so) the March of Dimes only asked for donations of 10 cents per person to rid the world of polio. It worked! Now, with inflation, dollars make the difference. But seriously, even a gift of $5 or $10 can make a significant difference. By going online to this secure site, you can make a personal contribution that will go towards the ACS mission of providing patient services, education, advocacy and research. I am alive today thanks to drugs created by researchers funded through ACS dollars. For me, it is truly and matter of life and death.
I have personally lost too many dear friends and family to breast cancer. At this time, I want to recall Nancy and Ellen. Both were amazing women. Neither wanted to lose her battle. They fought courageously. Nancy was an elementary school teacher and she loved her kindergartens. Every summer she would shop for books and toys that she would use to stock her classroom. She also adored her family -- they meant the world to her. She would be so proud to know that one daughter became a CPA and the other, an attorney. Ellen was a leader when it came to advocacy. She spent countless hours in Tallahassee and in Washington, DC fighting for research dollars through the American Cancer Society's Cancer Action Network. When I met her, we were on the bus to Tallahassee and trust me, when Ellen spoke -- people listened. And, they opened up their checkbooks and at the congressional level -- they voted to give more dollars to ACS research. She was also loved by her family.
I miss these incredible friends and "sisters" -- they will always remain reasons for me to Make Strides Against Breast Cancer. Please, find your reason and then, make a generous donation.
I thank you, in advance, for caring. I am sending out Pink Hugs to all of you.
I will be attending this year's ACS Making Strides Against Breast Cancer on Saturday, Oct. 19, 2013 at Lake Eola in beautiful downtown Orlando. It will be a lovely day -- no matter what. And, I expect to be up "bright and early" that morning all ready for the 5K walk around the streets of Orlando.
This year I registered as an individual. However, I still have an ACS MSABC website that you can visit and where online donations can be made. You can visit:
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/marilynwattmanfeldman
I greatly appreciate any contribution. If you can recall (if you're old enough to do so) the March of Dimes only asked for donations of 10 cents per person to rid the world of polio. It worked! Now, with inflation, dollars make the difference. But seriously, even a gift of $5 or $10 can make a significant difference. By going online to this secure site, you can make a personal contribution that will go towards the ACS mission of providing patient services, education, advocacy and research. I am alive today thanks to drugs created by researchers funded through ACS dollars. For me, it is truly and matter of life and death.
I have personally lost too many dear friends and family to breast cancer. At this time, I want to recall Nancy and Ellen. Both were amazing women. Neither wanted to lose her battle. They fought courageously. Nancy was an elementary school teacher and she loved her kindergartens. Every summer she would shop for books and toys that she would use to stock her classroom. She also adored her family -- they meant the world to her. She would be so proud to know that one daughter became a CPA and the other, an attorney. Ellen was a leader when it came to advocacy. She spent countless hours in Tallahassee and in Washington, DC fighting for research dollars through the American Cancer Society's Cancer Action Network. When I met her, we were on the bus to Tallahassee and trust me, when Ellen spoke -- people listened. And, they opened up their checkbooks and at the congressional level -- they voted to give more dollars to ACS research. She was also loved by her family.
I miss these incredible friends and "sisters" -- they will always remain reasons for me to Make Strides Against Breast Cancer. Please, find your reason and then, make a generous donation.
I thank you, in advance, for caring. I am sending out Pink Hugs to all of you.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Day by day by day -- Say A Prayer for Me
That's how life feels. I wake up (thank goodness) and I do the same things over and over again. The routines are the same. Day in and day out. Very little changes although I wish there would be some major change. I simply don't know what that would be.
For instance. The past three days I've woken up about the same time, between 8:10 a.m. and 8:20 a.m. Twice I got up to answer the phone. But, even with that phone call, I was still on my way to getting up anyway. So, the caller didn't change much about my routine.
It's rare for me to set the alarm unless I have a doctor's appointment or a hospital visit. If so, I need to ensure that I am ready to either get to the location or I need to be ready for pick up. Those days, I may find myself getting up as early as 7 a.m. depending upon pick up time. I am not thrilled but, my body does do something interesting. I usually wake up about five to 10 minutes prior to the alarm, which I hate hearing. I actually jump out of bed before the alarm, in most cases, and since I'm already up -- I will begin my routine. There was a time when I would try to go back to sleep and wait until I heard that "blasted" alarm go off. Oh, I remember those days. I was working back then. Interesting?
Well, I get into the bathroom and begin my daily morning rituals. All the usual stuff, nothing out of the ordinary. If I have already planned my wardrobe for the day, I will quickly review what I selected and take what I need into the bathroom with me. If I haven't selected my clothes, I will go to the drawers and begin that "insane" process. Why insane? Because my wardrobe is so limited that I really have next to nothing to wear -- it's actually a good thing I no longer work. My entire wardrobe is "super casual." I have very little to wear. After losing so much weight, I still kept wearing clothes that were way too big. Then, I finally realized I needed something "smaller" and so I went shopping for a few things. With a limited budget that places clothing not only near the bottom of the list but on the "Is it really necessary or can I get away without it list?" ... Let's just say that I wear the same stuff over and over again. Each week it's basically the same outfits. I try to change it out a bit -- maybe a different top. Or maybe I'll wear a different pair of sneakers. Since I exercise most of the time, I don't have a need for a "frilly" wardrobe although it would be great to have "real workout" clothes. I had a few items but they are beginning to fall apart as well from "wear and tear." Fortunately, my friends at the Y don't really notice what I'm wearing -- we all look "sweaty" and "ready for a heavy duty workout" so the clothes are not really noticed. (Although I do take note of the members who are able to buy nice matching sets for Zumba or who can afford a nice pair of Capri's that fit right.) When I have a few extra dollars, I hit the markets -- Goodwill, Hope, or any of the thrift stores where for about $3 I can find a "new" pair of pants or a top for less. Thank goodness for bargains!
Once I am dressed and I've taken my morning medications, then it's time for breakfast. No matter what, I do eat breakfast everyday. I may not eat immediately, but I know the importance of this meal. It was "pounded" into me during diabetes education classes. Breakfast, we were told, was an essential meal and never to be forgotten. If possible, I create a menu that includes a protein, a carb, a fruit, dairy and a fat. That's how I was taught. So, maybe I will have an egg, slice of toast, a glass of skim milk, some margarine on my toast and either a piece of fruit or a small glass of juice. Or, I may reach for the oatmeal adding some fresh or dried fruits and nuts. I may also add Greek yogurt to that meal, bringing in a great source of protein.
I know how to eat healthy -- but then again, it's a matter of what I have in the pantry or refrigerator. Like clothing -- food is on a special list -- it's a "luxury" item. Please don't misunderstand what I mean here. I'm eating -- and I am by no means starving. What I do want to explain is that being on a "limited budget" has its challenges. Since the guidelines for food benefits seem to indicate that I "earn too much money" to receive any extra help, I need to be creative. Like with my clothing where I seek out bargains or thrifty options, I have found some help in this area as well. Thank goodness for local churches and area food pantries. While I never thought I would be standing in line for any of these places, I do have plenty of company each time I visit a location for help. There are many wonderful men and women out there who never thought they would need this extra help -- but here we are. All together at the local food bank, getting our weekly allotment. If lucky, maybe this week they will have eggs. Or perhaps extra fresh fruit or veggies?
My day in and day out routine is rather simple. I am a survivor. I do whatever I have to do to make things happen. If I need something -- eventually, I will get it. Medications. I get those. They are on my priority list. Vitamins and supplements. I try not to run out, but if I do, it's only for a short time. Food. Trust me, I eat -- breakfast, lunch and dinner, even a snack or two. While I may not always eat the foods I would prefer (since I have to work my menu and diet around what I can get or find) I am doing quite well. Per all my medical testing, apparently I am doing all the right things. While I may want to eat a very healthy diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains, healthier proteins, etc., I may need to make modifications based on what I can get and what's in the pantry and refrigerator/freezer. But, I can assure you that when I can get my hands on the "best" I enjoy it. When I have to settle for "second best" I am also extremely grateful. Considering that there are individuals not eating everyday or starving because food is not available -- believe me, I am happy living day by day by day.
Surviving cancer has been a major life changing experience. I have learned to appreciate "little things" and I have come to realize that even "out of date" items are still okay. Bottom line for this survivor -- I don't "sweat the small stuff" any longer. Living day by day by day is A - OK with me. I can make a meal out of anything and I can make it healthy, too. I can make an outfit out of whatever I find in my closet or drawers. I can still walk with pride and hold my head up high. Why? Very simple. I am able to get up each and everyday. I don't take that for granted. I don't even take breathing or walking for granted. I am so forever grateful to the people who have helped me reach this "day..." "this point in my life"... that I can find the beauty and happiness in every moment that I am awake. I love my simple daily routine. If this is living -- I am truly blessed.
(By the way, if you're listening to my prayers, I would not be the least bit upset if you "blessed" me with a bit of financial well being. Even in "Fiddler on the Roof" he sang the song "If I Were a Rich Man." Personally, I don't think it would spoil any "plan" if I came into a few extra dollars and was able to help my family and friends. Whenever you can make this happen, I would be most appreciative. Meanwhile, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Thanks. Amen.)
For instance. The past three days I've woken up about the same time, between 8:10 a.m. and 8:20 a.m. Twice I got up to answer the phone. But, even with that phone call, I was still on my way to getting up anyway. So, the caller didn't change much about my routine.
It's rare for me to set the alarm unless I have a doctor's appointment or a hospital visit. If so, I need to ensure that I am ready to either get to the location or I need to be ready for pick up. Those days, I may find myself getting up as early as 7 a.m. depending upon pick up time. I am not thrilled but, my body does do something interesting. I usually wake up about five to 10 minutes prior to the alarm, which I hate hearing. I actually jump out of bed before the alarm, in most cases, and since I'm already up -- I will begin my routine. There was a time when I would try to go back to sleep and wait until I heard that "blasted" alarm go off. Oh, I remember those days. I was working back then. Interesting?
Well, I get into the bathroom and begin my daily morning rituals. All the usual stuff, nothing out of the ordinary. If I have already planned my wardrobe for the day, I will quickly review what I selected and take what I need into the bathroom with me. If I haven't selected my clothes, I will go to the drawers and begin that "insane" process. Why insane? Because my wardrobe is so limited that I really have next to nothing to wear -- it's actually a good thing I no longer work. My entire wardrobe is "super casual." I have very little to wear. After losing so much weight, I still kept wearing clothes that were way too big. Then, I finally realized I needed something "smaller" and so I went shopping for a few things. With a limited budget that places clothing not only near the bottom of the list but on the "Is it really necessary or can I get away without it list?" ... Let's just say that I wear the same stuff over and over again. Each week it's basically the same outfits. I try to change it out a bit -- maybe a different top. Or maybe I'll wear a different pair of sneakers. Since I exercise most of the time, I don't have a need for a "frilly" wardrobe although it would be great to have "real workout" clothes. I had a few items but they are beginning to fall apart as well from "wear and tear." Fortunately, my friends at the Y don't really notice what I'm wearing -- we all look "sweaty" and "ready for a heavy duty workout" so the clothes are not really noticed. (Although I do take note of the members who are able to buy nice matching sets for Zumba or who can afford a nice pair of Capri's that fit right.) When I have a few extra dollars, I hit the markets -- Goodwill, Hope, or any of the thrift stores where for about $3 I can find a "new" pair of pants or a top for less. Thank goodness for bargains!
Once I am dressed and I've taken my morning medications, then it's time for breakfast. No matter what, I do eat breakfast everyday. I may not eat immediately, but I know the importance of this meal. It was "pounded" into me during diabetes education classes. Breakfast, we were told, was an essential meal and never to be forgotten. If possible, I create a menu that includes a protein, a carb, a fruit, dairy and a fat. That's how I was taught. So, maybe I will have an egg, slice of toast, a glass of skim milk, some margarine on my toast and either a piece of fruit or a small glass of juice. Or, I may reach for the oatmeal adding some fresh or dried fruits and nuts. I may also add Greek yogurt to that meal, bringing in a great source of protein.
I know how to eat healthy -- but then again, it's a matter of what I have in the pantry or refrigerator. Like clothing -- food is on a special list -- it's a "luxury" item. Please don't misunderstand what I mean here. I'm eating -- and I am by no means starving. What I do want to explain is that being on a "limited budget" has its challenges. Since the guidelines for food benefits seem to indicate that I "earn too much money" to receive any extra help, I need to be creative. Like with my clothing where I seek out bargains or thrifty options, I have found some help in this area as well. Thank goodness for local churches and area food pantries. While I never thought I would be standing in line for any of these places, I do have plenty of company each time I visit a location for help. There are many wonderful men and women out there who never thought they would need this extra help -- but here we are. All together at the local food bank, getting our weekly allotment. If lucky, maybe this week they will have eggs. Or perhaps extra fresh fruit or veggies?
My day in and day out routine is rather simple. I am a survivor. I do whatever I have to do to make things happen. If I need something -- eventually, I will get it. Medications. I get those. They are on my priority list. Vitamins and supplements. I try not to run out, but if I do, it's only for a short time. Food. Trust me, I eat -- breakfast, lunch and dinner, even a snack or two. While I may not always eat the foods I would prefer (since I have to work my menu and diet around what I can get or find) I am doing quite well. Per all my medical testing, apparently I am doing all the right things. While I may want to eat a very healthy diet rich in fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains, healthier proteins, etc., I may need to make modifications based on what I can get and what's in the pantry and refrigerator/freezer. But, I can assure you that when I can get my hands on the "best" I enjoy it. When I have to settle for "second best" I am also extremely grateful. Considering that there are individuals not eating everyday or starving because food is not available -- believe me, I am happy living day by day by day.
Surviving cancer has been a major life changing experience. I have learned to appreciate "little things" and I have come to realize that even "out of date" items are still okay. Bottom line for this survivor -- I don't "sweat the small stuff" any longer. Living day by day by day is A - OK with me. I can make a meal out of anything and I can make it healthy, too. I can make an outfit out of whatever I find in my closet or drawers. I can still walk with pride and hold my head up high. Why? Very simple. I am able to get up each and everyday. I don't take that for granted. I don't even take breathing or walking for granted. I am so forever grateful to the people who have helped me reach this "day..." "this point in my life"... that I can find the beauty and happiness in every moment that I am awake. I love my simple daily routine. If this is living -- I am truly blessed.
(By the way, if you're listening to my prayers, I would not be the least bit upset if you "blessed" me with a bit of financial well being. Even in "Fiddler on the Roof" he sang the song "If I Were a Rich Man." Personally, I don't think it would spoil any "plan" if I came into a few extra dollars and was able to help my family and friends. Whenever you can make this happen, I would be most appreciative. Meanwhile, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. Thanks. Amen.)
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
A Whole New Chapter Begins
I realize that when I started writing this blog, Marilyn's Byline, I had a "hidden agenda." I wanted to promote my book, which at the time was a work in progress. It was suggested to me by a wonderfully talented young woman by the name of Sultana Ali that I start this blog. First, she had to tell what a "blog" was. I had no idea. Then, I had to find someone to help me get stated. That artistically talented individual was Thomas Thorspecken, better known as Thor. He helped me get into Blogspot.com and the rest, as they say, is history. Oh, and I did get some additional help (artistically) from a well-known graphic designer, Edward Feldman. He took my original concept and made it look -- well, much more exciting as well as professional. I wanted to thank all three of these incredible people for their help, especially at a time when I was still coming out of my "fog."
Marilyn's Byline started out as a way to let people know I was writing -- something I had stopped doing for way too many years. The years between 2002 - 2007 were downright horrible, physically and mentally. I could barely function on a daily basis let alone attempt anything remotely resembling a piece of writing. (Or anything that made sense.) I was a mess. My brain was overcome by chemo brain, a real dysfunction from which I still continue to suffer -- although I am better able to handle those moments.
In late 2007, Brian Feldman (aka: my son) helped me apply for a literature grant from United Arts of Central Florida. I wrote on my application that I would write a play about cancer survivors and take that piece to a public play reading, all within a year's time. Talk about impossible! Even the judging panel who were there to determine if I would get the grant noted that this project was "impossible" even for professionals like themselves. But I was in la-la land and told them: "I'm a cancer survivor. I can do anything." I said that line three times. I knew I wasn't going to get the grant -- but, I did! Of course, as you may already know, I finished the project in March 2010 -- two years after I started. Chemonologues became a reality when it was read by a group of professional actors on the stage at Theatre Downtown in Orlando. I was "mentored" by Julia Gagne, formerly with Valencia Community College. She also directed the play reading.
Now, I have completed my book "High Maintenance." I am still deciding how to publish my memoir. The exciting thing is -- I completed the book. I did it. I spent three years writing -- but it's done. For me, that's a "giant" accomplishment. There was a time (between 2002 and 2007) where my brain could not have done this work. I could not even write two words in a sentence that made any sense. I was a totally dysfunctional person -- I could barely do anything physical. I had to learn how to "walk," again, twice. (2005 and 2008 after breaking my femurs) I spent plenty of time in hospitals and rehab centers. I endured surgeries, including the loss of the upper lobe of my left lung. (My breast cancer journey began to resemble a lung cancer survivor's journey.) Mentally, emotionally -- I was a wreck! I needed to get off the "roller-coaster, merry-go-round" I was on.
Today, I am writing this new post with a whole different attitude. I feel great! I exercise on a regular basis. I enjoy exercising because I can see and feel the difference it has made. I do "crazy things" such as Zumba, water fitness, basic spinning and Tai Chi. I have tried many other classes along the way. I also enjoy working my muscles -- working at each session to gain better muscle tone and strength. It has become a passion for me.
Thus, my new "blog" is about how my life has improved since I became whole again. What a feeling it is to know that each day I am truly "getting better and stronger." I just celebrated another year on August 9. I love it! I have a whole year to expand my horizons. To learn new things and accomplish goals. (Such as publishing my book) It doesn't get much better than that. So, join me on this incredible journey -- my adventure into year 61. You are invited to encourage me, join me, (which means you need to get off the sofa and start moving) and most importantly, support me. I cannot do this myself. I realized my limitations in 2002 and since then, I have depended upon family and friends for physical, emotional and spiritual support. I will have an awesome year. I cannot wait to see all the amazing things that will happen as each week and each month over the coming 61st year of my life as Marilyn Susan Wattman-Feldman unfolds.
Here's to the next chapter in my life!
Marilyn's Byline started out as a way to let people know I was writing -- something I had stopped doing for way too many years. The years between 2002 - 2007 were downright horrible, physically and mentally. I could barely function on a daily basis let alone attempt anything remotely resembling a piece of writing. (Or anything that made sense.) I was a mess. My brain was overcome by chemo brain, a real dysfunction from which I still continue to suffer -- although I am better able to handle those moments.
In late 2007, Brian Feldman (aka: my son) helped me apply for a literature grant from United Arts of Central Florida. I wrote on my application that I would write a play about cancer survivors and take that piece to a public play reading, all within a year's time. Talk about impossible! Even the judging panel who were there to determine if I would get the grant noted that this project was "impossible" even for professionals like themselves. But I was in la-la land and told them: "I'm a cancer survivor. I can do anything." I said that line three times. I knew I wasn't going to get the grant -- but, I did! Of course, as you may already know, I finished the project in March 2010 -- two years after I started. Chemonologues became a reality when it was read by a group of professional actors on the stage at Theatre Downtown in Orlando. I was "mentored" by Julia Gagne, formerly with Valencia Community College. She also directed the play reading.
Now, I have completed my book "High Maintenance." I am still deciding how to publish my memoir. The exciting thing is -- I completed the book. I did it. I spent three years writing -- but it's done. For me, that's a "giant" accomplishment. There was a time (between 2002 and 2007) where my brain could not have done this work. I could not even write two words in a sentence that made any sense. I was a totally dysfunctional person -- I could barely do anything physical. I had to learn how to "walk," again, twice. (2005 and 2008 after breaking my femurs) I spent plenty of time in hospitals and rehab centers. I endured surgeries, including the loss of the upper lobe of my left lung. (My breast cancer journey began to resemble a lung cancer survivor's journey.) Mentally, emotionally -- I was a wreck! I needed to get off the "roller-coaster, merry-go-round" I was on.
Today, I am writing this new post with a whole different attitude. I feel great! I exercise on a regular basis. I enjoy exercising because I can see and feel the difference it has made. I do "crazy things" such as Zumba, water fitness, basic spinning and Tai Chi. I have tried many other classes along the way. I also enjoy working my muscles -- working at each session to gain better muscle tone and strength. It has become a passion for me.
Thus, my new "blog" is about how my life has improved since I became whole again. What a feeling it is to know that each day I am truly "getting better and stronger." I just celebrated another year on August 9. I love it! I have a whole year to expand my horizons. To learn new things and accomplish goals. (Such as publishing my book) It doesn't get much better than that. So, join me on this incredible journey -- my adventure into year 61. You are invited to encourage me, join me, (which means you need to get off the sofa and start moving) and most importantly, support me. I cannot do this myself. I realized my limitations in 2002 and since then, I have depended upon family and friends for physical, emotional and spiritual support. I will have an awesome year. I cannot wait to see all the amazing things that will happen as each week and each month over the coming 61st year of my life as Marilyn Susan Wattman-Feldman unfolds.
Here's to the next chapter in my life!
Monday, July 22, 2013
My Magic Wand is Broken -- My Publishing Search Continues
During the time I was writing "High Maintenance" I did not allow myself to think about anything other than the actual process of writing. I did not want to "confuse" myself or "attempt to multi-task" at any point during that three-year period. I knew it was "impossible" for me to do more than simply write. Trying to do more -- even attempting a multi-tasking process -- I knew it was wrong for me.
Now, I have discovered that the publishing process can be challenging. Since I still get "confused easily" especially by anything legal, I have had to depend upon others to read information I get from various sources. That obvious adds more time to getting things done, but I can assure you that I don't intend to take three years to publish my book. While I was hoping this whole process would be easier, I realize that nothing in life is simple. Just getting to where I am today, both physically and mentally, has taken time. Doing it all in baby steps has never been easy. I have had my moments of frustration. There have been those times where I have had my own personal "breakdowns" or "temper-tantrums" that may make me feel good for the moment but certainly don't get me very far. Yes! I am frustrated that things are not moving faster. I wish I could find that "magic button" that would make this whole process go quickly. I get the rep or publisher and within a reasonable amount of time, I have a published book. Easy! Sure, I wish it were that simple. I need to get a "new magic wand" -- the warranty for my older model has expired!
If you know of anyone who is a publishing rep or can help open the door to a major publisher, that's my real goal. Why? I did not write "High Maintenance" as a family memento. This book was not written on a whim. I was not writing a memoir to be read by a few close friends. I have individuals throughout the country ready to read this book. Some of these people are not necessarily known to me except perhaps via Face book or Linked In. Or through another person. (Third party?) Total strangers? Perhaps? But seriously, I know there are individuals ready to read "High Maintenance" once it is published. And, published as a real book. (Although, of course, it would be available online.)
I am checking every option. I read and re-read every email or notice I have received. Ideas provided to me are being examined. Over and over. I am looking into self-publishing, etc. But, it would be so much easier (Again, I can't stop thinking about the easy way - since everything else in my journey has been difficult.) if I could simply find that publisher (I know you're out there.) who will take my manuscript and publish it --- and help me get it out there, to the world. To my readers. To my potential readers. To readers who don't even know I have a book for them to read.
"High Maintenance" will get published. As to when and how -- stay tuned for that next chapter in my life.
Now, I have discovered that the publishing process can be challenging. Since I still get "confused easily" especially by anything legal, I have had to depend upon others to read information I get from various sources. That obvious adds more time to getting things done, but I can assure you that I don't intend to take three years to publish my book. While I was hoping this whole process would be easier, I realize that nothing in life is simple. Just getting to where I am today, both physically and mentally, has taken time. Doing it all in baby steps has never been easy. I have had my moments of frustration. There have been those times where I have had my own personal "breakdowns" or "temper-tantrums" that may make me feel good for the moment but certainly don't get me very far. Yes! I am frustrated that things are not moving faster. I wish I could find that "magic button" that would make this whole process go quickly. I get the rep or publisher and within a reasonable amount of time, I have a published book. Easy! Sure, I wish it were that simple. I need to get a "new magic wand" -- the warranty for my older model has expired!
If you know of anyone who is a publishing rep or can help open the door to a major publisher, that's my real goal. Why? I did not write "High Maintenance" as a family memento. This book was not written on a whim. I was not writing a memoir to be read by a few close friends. I have individuals throughout the country ready to read this book. Some of these people are not necessarily known to me except perhaps via Face book or Linked In. Or through another person. (Third party?) Total strangers? Perhaps? But seriously, I know there are individuals ready to read "High Maintenance" once it is published. And, published as a real book. (Although, of course, it would be available online.)
I am checking every option. I read and re-read every email or notice I have received. Ideas provided to me are being examined. Over and over. I am looking into self-publishing, etc. But, it would be so much easier (Again, I can't stop thinking about the easy way - since everything else in my journey has been difficult.) if I could simply find that publisher (I know you're out there.) who will take my manuscript and publish it --- and help me get it out there, to the world. To my readers. To my potential readers. To readers who don't even know I have a book for them to read.
"High Maintenance" will get published. As to when and how -- stay tuned for that next chapter in my life.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Something to Celebrate!
I get the call. It's usually a nurse by the name of Frenchie and she's almost always assigned to contact me after a scan. In this case, it was pertaining to the PET scan I had on Monday morning. It was Tuesday morning and I was at the Oviedo Y. I needed to make up for lost time. Since I could not exercise on Sunday due to test prep and Monday was a total washout (being exhausted from an early morning trip to the hospital) I wanted a real workout. I had missed most of Zumba but did the last 15 minutes of class with Sharon. Then, I stayed for RIPPED with Francine. I already knew before even starting that I would be pushing -- but, I also figured I needed to jump start my weekly workouts.
Once home, I kept trying to reach Frenchie with whom I was playing phone tag. Finally, I heard her familiar voice. The word "negative" came through loud and clear. For the past eight years, I have remained in a cancer-free status. The maintenance program established by Dr. Nikita Shah, MD has been working. And, for this, I am extremely thankful.
Hearing words like "cancer-free" or "no signs of cancer" are true music to my ears. My entire body goes into a mode where I wish I were capable of "jumping really high!" In my mind, I am jumping to the ceiling and beyond. I could reach the moon with my jump! I could reach the stars and world's beyond -- all because I am so happy! While I may not be able to physically jump or move fast these days, fortunately, my mind can more than make up for what my body lacks. I was doing somersaults when I heard the word "negative." I was ready to climb to the top of the highest mountain peak! Prepared to swim across the ocean! Yes, in my mind (within my dreams) I can do anything. And, believe or not, I actually know that a great deal of my physical good health has come from my mental happiness and well being. There is a direct tie-in between the physical and mental or emotional. Being happy and feeling good mentally always helps when it comes to also feeling good physically. Exercising on a regular / consistent basis has tremendously helped me over the years to accomplish my goal of "getting better and stronger everyday in every way."
I have so much to celebrate today! I have a lot to celebrate tomorrow! While I remain a metastatic breast cancer survivor, I continue to enjoy this cancer-free status. I am NOT cured. I will not be considered "cured" until the actual "cure" for my particular type of breast cancer is found. (I believe this will happen within my lifetime.) However, every time I have a scan and the results are "negative" for cancer or any sign of cancer -- I celebrate another victory in my journey.
And today, I finally decided on how I would publish my book "High Maintenance." I will get with a trainer at Apple (where I have a One to One training program) and begin learning a program that can take my manuscript and create an actual book. Once I complete this process, I can publish online -- those who have iBooks or other such devices will be able to purchase my book. Then, once I demonstrate the ability to generate readers who are buying my book, then I can decide on the publishing future of "High Maintenance." Ultimately, I want to see a real book on the shelves of local bookstores. Based on today's great news, I know this will happen. "High Maintenance... Surviving Cancer at All Costs," is merely the beginning of my newest adventure -- becoming a bestselling author! For me, this will be the culmination of a lifetime of dreams coming true. (Right now, my prayers of remaining "cancer free" have been answered and for this, I am eternity grateful.)
Once home, I kept trying to reach Frenchie with whom I was playing phone tag. Finally, I heard her familiar voice. The word "negative" came through loud and clear. For the past eight years, I have remained in a cancer-free status. The maintenance program established by Dr. Nikita Shah, MD has been working. And, for this, I am extremely thankful.
Hearing words like "cancer-free" or "no signs of cancer" are true music to my ears. My entire body goes into a mode where I wish I were capable of "jumping really high!" In my mind, I am jumping to the ceiling and beyond. I could reach the moon with my jump! I could reach the stars and world's beyond -- all because I am so happy! While I may not be able to physically jump or move fast these days, fortunately, my mind can more than make up for what my body lacks. I was doing somersaults when I heard the word "negative." I was ready to climb to the top of the highest mountain peak! Prepared to swim across the ocean! Yes, in my mind (within my dreams) I can do anything. And, believe or not, I actually know that a great deal of my physical good health has come from my mental happiness and well being. There is a direct tie-in between the physical and mental or emotional. Being happy and feeling good mentally always helps when it comes to also feeling good physically. Exercising on a regular / consistent basis has tremendously helped me over the years to accomplish my goal of "getting better and stronger everyday in every way."
I have so much to celebrate today! I have a lot to celebrate tomorrow! While I remain a metastatic breast cancer survivor, I continue to enjoy this cancer-free status. I am NOT cured. I will not be considered "cured" until the actual "cure" for my particular type of breast cancer is found. (I believe this will happen within my lifetime.) However, every time I have a scan and the results are "negative" for cancer or any sign of cancer -- I celebrate another victory in my journey.
And today, I finally decided on how I would publish my book "High Maintenance." I will get with a trainer at Apple (where I have a One to One training program) and begin learning a program that can take my manuscript and create an actual book. Once I complete this process, I can publish online -- those who have iBooks or other such devices will be able to purchase my book. Then, once I demonstrate the ability to generate readers who are buying my book, then I can decide on the publishing future of "High Maintenance." Ultimately, I want to see a real book on the shelves of local bookstores. Based on today's great news, I know this will happen. "High Maintenance... Surviving Cancer at All Costs," is merely the beginning of my newest adventure -- becoming a bestselling author! For me, this will be the culmination of a lifetime of dreams coming true. (Right now, my prayers of remaining "cancer free" have been answered and for this, I am eternity grateful.)
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